


we find love

by encoru



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Beach, Angst, Beach Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Exes to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Public Display of Affection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-02-14 15:23:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13010625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/encoru/pseuds/encoru
Summary: Kyungsoo initially came to the island to catch the waves, but finds himself holding on to something else.





	we find love

**Author's Note:**

> baeksoo + beach is my most favorite concept
> 
> title is from Daniel Caesar's [song](https://open.spotify.com/track/1TPLsNVlofwX1txcE9gZZF?si=8UH2Wmk4R76GXwVjMo4fcg).

They meet again at a small hostel during midnight, 1,624 nautical miles from their hometown.

Kyungsoo wakes up to a familiar Bucheon dialect, then to a familiar voice, then to a familiar figure altogether.

“Excuse me, but I think you’re taking my place.”

He removes the book covering his face, glances at who’s speaking to him, then falls off his hammock and lands on the floor.

It’s already late judging from the darkness of the surroundings outside so Kyungsoo thinks he might still be dreaming, but the figure takes a step closer and thrusts his hand towards him.

The figure squints, then retracts his hand as soon as he takes a better look.

“Kyungsoo?!”

“You’re blond,” is all Kyungsoo could offer as a reply.

He rises to his feet, dusts off his shorts. Wind blows through the open windows and Kyungsoo remembers he discarded his shirt before he went to bed earlier.

“What are you doing here, Baekhyun?”

Baekhyun blinks at him a few times, his face devoid of any emotion. His blond hair catches the moonlight. There used to be a bright smile plastered on his lips whenever he and Kyungsoo meet, but now there’s only a tight line.

“Why does it matter?” Baekhyun clicks his tongue. “You’re taking up my place. Move now, if you don’t want me to call the reception.”

On a normal day, Kyungsoo would have stared at him or maybe laugh a little at how uncharacteristically serious Baekhyun sounds. Not that he couldn’t take Baekhyun seriously, but it’s not always this cordial nor stiff between the two of them.

But that’s the problem - maybe they were too _not serious_ \- and things are different now so without a word, Kyungsoo gathers his things. He grabs his backpack from the floor and the stuff he dumped on his hammock: his earphones, his forgotten white shirt, the Murakami book he fell asleep to and drooled on while reading. Takes two strides across the floor and places his stuff on his new spot: the hammock opposite to Baekhyun’s on the other end of the room.

He makes himself comfortable on his new sleeping spot and throws his shirt over his face instead of putting it back on, feeling suddenly warm. He tries to go back to sleep but fails and caves into watching Baekhyun instead through the thin material of his shirt.

It’s only been a year since he and Baekhyun last saw each other. The other man essentially looks the same, sans the blonde hair. His shoulders seem wider, though, and his skin also darker based on what he can make out through the dim lighting of the room. Kyungsoo tries not to dwell on these things.

They don’t say anything else to each other, what with Kyungsoo pretending to be asleep and Baekhyun organizing his stuff. Nothing else could be heard except for the whirring of the electric fan, the buzzing of the fireflies, the crackling of the mosquito repeller, and Baekhyun’s footfalls as he waddles around.

Kyungsoo knows it’s already late but it’s so silent even to his own liking, and that’s saying something. He’s not used to silence, especially with Baekhyun in the room.

He chooses to speak again when Baekhyun finally lies down on his own hammock.

“You still haven’t answered my question, Baek.”

Baekhyun takes that as a cue to pull down his sleeping mask and turn his back on him, the strings of the hammock connected to the wooden beams straining as he shifts his weight.

After a moment, Baekhyun replies. “I don’t owe you an answer.”

Kyungsoo swallows. Baekhyun is right. Even if they know each other, even if they’re the only acquaintances on this island a thousand miles away from home, Baekhyun is not obliged to speak to him or anything. It’s easy to forget they ended on bad terms when he got caught in the moment. But now that he thinks about it, if Baekhyun prefers to acknowledge him as nothing more than a stranger, then so be it.

He’s here to take a vacation like Baekhyun probably is.

Humoring each other is not a part of their bucket list.

Kyungsoo sighs.

Just when he’s about to fall asleep, Baekhyun speaks again.

“Let’s talk later, Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo smiles, feels his heart pick up its rate. He tries to fall back to sleep, looking forward to the promise the next morning holds.

Ultimately, he fails.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Baekhyun is already gone when Kyungsoo wakes up.

For a moment, he wonders if last night was just a product of a delirious dream but as he examines the room, he sees Baekhyun’s things — sneakers and backpack placed neatly side by side on the floor.

The guy still holds a fascination for Nike and Supreme products, it seems.

Kyungsoo grabs breakfast and coffee, tries not to think where Baekhyun has gone. It has only been two days since he arrived at the island of Siargao and while the locals seem nice, it might come off as too weird if he starts asking around if anyone has seen another Korean guy similar to his height, with blonde hair, broad shoulders and a tiny mole above his lips. He doesn’t want to give the wrong impression or worse, incite a false alarm.

So Kyungsoo takes a shower, grabs his water bag, then stomps off to the nearest beach to his hostel. He pays his fees and rents a surfboard, making sure to return the warm smiles the locals throw his way. He focuses on the strong waves of the sea before him and sets sail, not letting his mind wander any further to the thoughts of Baekhyun.

The skies are overcast but the waves remain strong as they come directly from the Pacific ocean. Kyungsoo paddles on his stomach and waits until he reaches the deeper end, letting the briny taste of the sea greet him.

A rideable wave soon comes and he takes that moment to pop up, springing to his feet as he rides the curl of the wave. There is the minute nervousness (he doesn’t think it will ever go away), but it gets quickly replaced by the adrenaline coursing through his body, feeling light from his head all the way to his toes as he focuses on going along with the swells of the sea.

Kyungsoo laughs when the seawater sprinkles on his face, feeling the thrill. But then he thinks of Baekhyun, thinks what the other man must be doing at the moment on the same island, and he loses his focus and balance, falling over before the swell even breaks. The wave washes him back to the shore.

He drags a palm down his face, then picks up the surfboard beside him. Falling over is part of the ride, perhaps one of the best parts of surfing, but his record time is usually longer than that. He’s out of it today.

He looks around - people are starting to pour in. It’s still early, but the surfers come to the beach at this time to catch the stronger waves in the morning.

Kyungsoo prepares to go for his second ride when he sees Baekhyun, suited up in a wetsuit and carrying a longboard in tow.

Kyungsoo acknowledges him with a wave. Baekhyun doesn’t return the gesture.

“I saw you earlier. I thought you were an expert.”

Kyungsoo chuckles, pinches the bridge of his nose. “I was thinking of you and lost my balance.”

Baekhyun smirks at this. “Bullshit. You were thinking of what we had, maybe.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t falter. “You said we’ll talk this morning.”

The wind tousles Baekhyun’s blonde hair. Kyungsoo is tempted to feel the strands with his fingers as Baekhyun runs a hand over them to keep his fringe from his face.

He dodges the topic.

“How tall do the waves get in here?”

“Four to eight feet. Sometimes even up to twelve, ” Kyungsoo supplies.

“Is that normal?”

It’s Kyungsoo’s turn to smirk. “That’s good news.”

Baekhyun walks towards the sea. Kyungsoo jogs after him.

“We should go together, Baek,” Kyungsoo suggests as he wades through the water.

“Surfing is a one-man sport,” Baekhyun says without looking at him. There’s the unsaid _I don’t need you_ in that statement. Baekhyun has never been one for subtlety, Kyungsoo knows this much, but it still hurts.

He watches Baekhyun submerge himself further into the water and then lie on his stomach on the surfboard, paddling towards the deeper part of the sea.

Dating Baekhyun included a lot of traveling and doing adrenaline-heavy things. From spontaneous road trips to riding zip lines to cliff diving, they’ve done a lot because the both of them seeks the thrill. Beach trips were not few and far in between too because they frequented Baekhyun’s grandmother’s house in Gangwon-do whenever they had the time to spare, but he can’t remember if surfing is something they have learned together.

Still, a year is a year since he time they broke up and last spoke to each other and Kyungsoo has to remind himself Baekhyun had also done a lot of other things on his own without Kyungsoo on his side.

They may have been inseparable when they were together but that was all in the past and Baekhyun, much like he is, is his own person, perfectly capable of going through life without Kyungsoo in the picture.

It doesn’t make the bitterness in him dissipate any less, even though he’s aware he has no reason to feel like this.

A wave coming towards Baekhyun snaps him back to the present. Kyungsoo expects Baekhyun to pop up now to prepare himself to ride the swell but he remains on his stomach, staying still.

“Stand up now, Baekhyunee!” He shouts, using Baekhyun’s nickname against his better judgment.

Baekhyun flips him off in return.

Baekhyun does stand up soon, though a little unsteady. He rides the swell easily and Kyungsoo smiles as he notices the sun shining more brightly in the horizon beyond, providing a beautiful backdrop.

But three seconds in and Baekhyun topples over, gets flung by the wave as it breaks on the shallow water. Kyungsoo meets him halfway, laughing.

“You’re more terrible than I am.”

Baekhyun is laughing too as he shakes the water out of his eyes. “I’m still learning!”

Kyungsoo springs up at that. “Do you want me to teach you? I’m not a professional, but I could probably help.”

Kyungsoo learned how to surf in a week-long trip he had in Bali last year, a month after the break-up. The lessons kept him occupied and helped take his mind off of things.

“Back off,” Baekhyun says. “I could do this on my own.”

Baekhyun doesn’t push him away, though, when he follows him as he paddles towards the waves.

“Your feet are too wide apart,” He says, “Tuck your feet behind when you pop up, then put your right foot forward. Stay perpendicular to the board. Your balance should be side-to-side.”

“I don’t need your help, but thanks.”

“There’s a wave coming. Go.”

Kyungsoo swims to the shore and sits on the sand, then watches Baekhyun as he paddles towards the wave. He springs his feet faster this time, sitting on his knees first before he sets his feet on the board and stands up, arms spread out as he rides the wave.

He catches Baekhyun smile as he rides an oncoming wave. He wipes out five seconds after that. Kyungsoo laughs; at least it’s still longer than his first.

Baekhyun paddles back to the shore on his long board, tongue sticking out and damp hair matted down to his forehead.

He gets up and grabs his own surfboard, meeting Baekhyun halfway into the water.

He barely dodges Baekhyun splashing water at him. Whether out of habit or out of spite, he doesn’t know.

“Let’s do it together, Baekhyun,” He calls out as he begins paddling back into the sea.

Baekhyun ignores him and continues his journey back to the shore.

“Let’s see who can catch the wave first,” Kyungsoo tries again.

At this, Baekhyun turns around. He knows how much competitive the latter is, never one to turn down challenges when an opportunity presents itself.

It feels different because Baekhyun is typically the one who double-dares him, not the other way around, but things have changed.

“I’m not going to lose to you!” Baekhyun shouts from behind.

Kyungsoo paddles faster, eager to be the first one to catch the wave.

 

* * *

 

They met in Seoul, 1,624 nautical miles away from this island.

Kyungsoo was a communication arts major who did theater in his spare time. Baekhyun was a music major who played piano and sung at gigs when he got nothing better to do.

Both of them came from the liberal arts department of the same university but only learned about each other’s existence during their senior year on one evening, during one of Chanyeol’s many house parties.

Kyungsoo had been minding his own business in the kitchen when, shortly after Chanyeol introduced them to each other, Baekhyun decided to challenge him to a drinking game.

Kyungsoo was not the type to engage in trivial games particularly with people he just met but he was bored, and Baekhyun had been eyeing him with such excitement in his eyes, and Kyungsoo just found him too amusing to ignore.

Three cans of beer and a bottle of Hibiki later, Kyungsoo won the battle, with Baekhyun barely able to hold himself up, looking beyond pissed-drunk. Kyungsoo knows how to hold his liquor well, so he wasn’t expecting to drink with someone who’s a lightweight as much as Baekhyun is.

He was about to leave the room when Baekhyun cornered him on the door, told him their game is “not yet over”, and pressed his lips against his.

He stiffened at the initial shock but soon found himself kissing back, tasting traces of whiskey and beer and something sweet on Baekhyun’s tongue.

By the end of the night, they saved other’s numbers. They began talking after the party.

Kyungsoo learned that Baekhyun is as loud as a person could get, maybe even louder than his resident loud friend Jongdae if he put his mind into it. He always shouted Kyungsoo’s name the moment they’re within a four-meter radius, always laughed obnoxiously when Kyungsoo frowned at his teasing, always sung at the top of his lungs whenever he heard a song he likes.

But Kyungsoo discovered that he doesn't really mind Baekhyun’s noise despite appearances. Baekhyun provided a sound to his otherwise silent humming and it’s a dynamic he began getting used to.

They were polar opposites in more ways than one. While Baekhyun loved hanging out with people and being loud, Kyungsoo was more reserved and quiet, only opening up to people he trusted. Yet with Baekhyun, he easily grew comfortable and they learned that despite the contrast in their personalities, they got along well, sharing a few common interests while agreeing to disagree when they needed to.

Dating Baekhyun was a trip. While Kyungsoo’s rebellious streak only came out whenever he cut classes to catch a mid-day screening at the cinema, Baekhyun’s was far more potent. He invited Kyungsoo to go on a road trip when he didn’t feel like attending his Sound Design class. He went to Kyungsoo’s dorm instead to sleep in when he didn’t feel like studying for his finals. There were times where he would even offer to suck Kyungsoo off in the library when he got bored, but Kyungsoo put his foot down and stopped him.

Thankfully, despite missing classes in between, both of them passed their degrees and graduated from university on time. Not in flying colors and without the latin honors, but they _passed_ , and that was all that mattered.

They continued dating even as they began their adult life. House parties were long gone as rigid classes gave way to stiff nine-to-five work shifts, but that didn’t stop them from their spontaneity.

They met on weekends, sometimes to go on road trips to Gangwon-do or Bucheon where the rest of Baekhyun’s family lives, sometimes only to lounge on Kyungsoo’s apartment where they’d either spend the day playing computer games or fuck or just sleep all day. They soon began to meet during weeknights too, when Baekhyun would invite Kyungsoo to eat samgyupsal after a long day at work, or where Kyungsoo would offer to cook Baekhyun dinner so they could talk, and Baekhyun would end up sleeping over, coming to work the next day in Kyungsoo’s clothes.

Baekhyun started frequenting his place so much he eventually moved in. Kyungsoo had been too happy to welcome him.

Living under the same roof opened another chapter to their relationship.

It meant sleeping on the same bed everyday, cleaning the house together, eating breakfast and dinner at the same space. It meant doing their groceries on weekends and sharing their expenses. It meant having people over and introducing each other to friends they haven’t met yet.

They were practically attached to the hip and Kyungsoo got too comfortable with the idea of Baekhyun always being at his side, of Baekhyun always _only_ looking at him, that he soon found difficulty with coming to terms that Baekhyun had always been open with having too much love to give.

He started becoming too conscious of Baekhyun’s whereabouts, became too aware of the friends Baekhyun hung out with, acquaintances Baekhyun talked to other than him.

It stirred something Kyungsoo hasn’t felt before, reared its ugly head more frequently than he preferred. A sense of possessiveness, a twinge of jealousy.

It lead to fights that ended in hoarse voices from shouting too much more than in tears. Kyungsoo started to become too jealous of too many people, became restless when Baekhyun missed to tell him where he had gone to after work.

Eventually, it took a toll on their relationship and it all came crashing down on them one Sunday night, after they just got home from a short Busan trip.

“You don’t own me!” Baekhyun shouted as he threw down their luggages, his voice louder and strained than it usually sounds. “You need to stop acting like an asshole and start trusting me!”

Kyungsoo dragged his palms over his face. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, Baekhyun!” He tried to explain. “It’s the people you hang out with that I don’t trust! That guy had been eyeing you all night and you think I’d just stay still and not do anything?”

“That guy _is_ my friend,” Baekhyun hissed. “Why do you have to be jealous over every single person who does so much as sit beside me?”

“I’m your boyfriend,” Kyungsoo reasoned out.

“Being my boyfriend doesn’t give you the right to tell me how to live my life,” Baekhyun fired back. “And sometimes, I even wonder if you really think _I’m_ your boyfriend, because it sure doesn’t feel like it.”

Kyungsoo’s eyebrow twitched. “What did you just say?”

“Do you still love me, Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun asked. His voice was firm but his lips quivered. “Because these days I just feel like a possession to you, an object you think you can control. And these things you’re doing to me -” He gestured to himself, “They’re not things you do to someone you love.”

Kyungsoo’s mouth hung open, suddenly lost for the right words to say.

“Do you still love me?” Baekhyun asked again.

Kyungsoo glanced at Baekhyun, meeting the latter’s eyes. They were glossed over with tears pooling at the corners but what he saw behind the tears was what rendered him more speechless.

He saw nothing but hurt in Baekhyun’s eyes. Baekhyun was terribly hurt. He hurt Baekhyun.

“So that’s your answer,” Baekhyun said and the gears in Kyungsoo’s mind were turning faster, telling him to do _something -_ anything - but for some reason, he remained rooted to the spot. “Okay, fine. Let’s break up.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes widened and pain clamped on his chest.

“I’m tired, Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun told him, his voice now small and awry. “Goodbye.”

Baekhyun grabbed his luggage in a hurry and walked to the door. He looked at Kyungsoo one last time to gauge his reaction but when Kyungsoo still stayed silent, he finally walked out and slammed the door shut.

By the time Kyungsoo snapped back to his senses, Baekhyun was already gone and out of his life.

Kyungsoo slumped on the floor. He fucked up.

 

 

He lies still, chest heaving as he catches his breath, the coarse sand on the beach warm and soft beneath his back.

He shields his eyes from the sun, the sunlight harsh and strong, but the strong waves from the sea sends a breeze that cools his skin.

It’s been a year since he and Baekhyun broke up.

Had things worked out - had he not fucked up - they would’ve been still together on this island as a couple.

He vividly remembers making plans a year ago with Baekhyun, the two of them bubbling with excitement as they made plans to spend their 3rd anniversary and winter on a warm, tropical island like Siargao for a change. They could both use a break, Baekhyun had said, and Kyungsoo agreed and promised him they would learn how to surf together when they get to the beach.

They discovered later on that some plans just don’t work.

But here he is, in the island of Siargao, limbs all spent after a whole morning of riding the waves and by some twisted turn of fate, Baekhyun is _also_ here with him, lying on the sand a meter apart, his breath panting.

They met again and somehow fulfilled their plans, albeit completely by chance and a few months late.

The whole thing makes Kyungsoo laugh.

“Hey,” says Baekhyun beside him, “If you stay out there any longer, you’re going to get sunburnt.”

Kyungsoo chuckles. “Do you remember how we were supposed to go here last year?”

Baekhyun scoffs, throws his legs in the air, then sits up. His wetsuit is covered in sand.

“Do you remember what you told me back in college?”

Kyungsoo knits his brows, squints at Baekhyun.

He shakes his head.

Baekhyun smirks. “That you don’t get back with your exes and you just move on, because you think it’s a waste of time trying to win back someone you already let go,” He stands up and grabs his long board. “So quit whatever it is you’re trying to do because I’m telling you, it’s not going to work.”

He stomps off to the direction of the cottages. Kyungsoo quickly rises to his feet and jogs after him.

“I’m not trying to win you back, Baek,” He tries, but Baekhyun only walks faster. “I just wanted to talk.”

“We’re talking right now, aren’t we?”

“Baekhyun, you know what I mean.”

Baekhyun turns around to face him, almost hitting him with his long board. Kyungsoo takes a step back and meets Baekhyun’s glare.

They stare at each other for a few seconds, until he hears the rumble of a stomach. Kyungsoo’s hands fly over his abdomen, but he knows it’s not his own.

Baekhyun looks away. “Let’s grab something to eat first. I haven’t had breakfast yet.”

He resumes walking and Kyungsoo follows him, unable to prevent the smile that forms on his lips.

 

 

* * *

 

 

They spend the next hour binging on a glazed king crab for lunch, forking out the crab’s meat, and licking the sweet sauce off their fingertips.

Baekhyun suckles on a thumb. Kyungsoo tries not to stare and focuses on eating his rice.

“You know,” Baekhyun says through a mouthful, “They make the best seafood here. My grandma specializes in cooking seafood, and even her cooking wasn’t this _good._ I feel bad.”

Kyungsoo nods. “I know.”

Kyungsoo smiles at the memory. Baekhyun’s grandma was as equally fond of him as she is with her own grandson. She always served them the best seafood feast he could ask for, feeding them the most delicious jogaetang and braised mackerel he has ever had.

A stray cat purrs at their table. Kyungsoo stares on it as he chews. Baekhyun plucks a thread of the crab meat from his plate and hands it to the cat.

“How’s your grandma doing?” Kyungsoo asks.

“Fine,” Baekhyun answers, continuing to pluck out crab meat, “Better. Seems to be aging backwards.”

“Good to know.”

“How’s your mom?” Baekhyun peels off a mango now, then sucks on it.

“She’s doing great. Currently busy with babysitting my niece.”

“Your older brother?”

“Same old. He and my sister-in-law are expecting their second child.”

The juice from the mango drips down on Baekhyun’s chin. Kyungsoo debates on ignoring it but fails.

“You have some dirt on your chin.”

Baekhyun wipes the spot with his thumb, then sucks on it.

Kyungsoo sighs. “There’s still some left.”

Baekhyun gapes. He tries to wipe at the same spot with his thumb but Kyungsoo grabs some tissues and reaches over to completely wipe off the juice that dribbled.

Baekhyun glances away, seemingly flabbergasted.

Kyungsoo clears his throat.

“Sorry, a form of habit,” He scratches the back of his head. Baekhyun is not a messy eater per se, but Kyungsoo has gotten used to fixing things he saw askew on the other man without a word, may it be a stray strand of hair, food on his face, a loose thread on his clothes.

A beat later, he asks, “How are you, Baekhyun?”

Baekhyun looks up at him, meets his eyes. Perhaps, it’s not the best thing to ask to someone whom you have hurt in the past, but Kyungsoo is genuinely curious and he thinks he deserves to know this much.

“I’ve been good,” Baekhyun answers, “I’m enjoying the single life. Been traveling a lot recently,” He shrugs. “I’m doing just fine on my own.”

Kyungsoo nods and offers a small smile.

The morning after Baekhyun broke up with him and left his apartment, he tried to call Baekhyun on several occasions, only to be greeted by the message that said the number was unavailable every time. He tried to send Baekhyun emails but received no reply.

When he went to Baekhyun’s house in Bucheon with the hope to find him there, he was told by the other man’s family that they also have no idea where he is and only knew he was ‘going on a vacation soon’. A week later, Chanyeol (who also turned into Baekhyun’s co-worker after college), informed him that Baekhyun filed for an indefinite leave and left for Hawaii.

Kyungsoo stopped looking for him at that point. He realized that Baekhyun needed personal space and probably wanted nothing to do with him anymore.

They haven’t contacted each other since then.

“I’ve been hired as a cruise ship pianist,” Baekhyun adds and a smile genuine finally breaks out into his face, the first since they met here again, “I was playing at this open bar in Macau one time when this American guy approached me and invited me to audition for his cruise ship. I got hired instantly.

“So I quit my job and started playing for this large cruise ship, and a lot of rich people listened to my music every night. When we reach the port, the staff are allowed to alight and roam around. I have practically traveled all around the globe on a voyage.”

Baekhyun finishes his story with a wide smile, a glint of excitement sparkling in his eyes. Kyungsoo smiles back.

He missed this, times when Baekhyun will only tell amusing stories of his childhood, of his day at work, of stories he also just heard from other people. Kyungsoo, a man of few words, was always ready to indulge him, only giving affirmative sounds as he listened to Baekhyun drone on.

“When we’re not on a voyage, I still travel which is why I’m here. I miss the sea,” Baekhyun adds. He picks at the peeled skin of the mango he just ate. “It wasn’t easy to forget you, y’know.”

Kyungsoo feels his stomach lurch. “Baekhyun, I tried to reach out to you -”

Baekhyun dismisses him with a wave, then laughs. “It was all in the past. I want to enjoy this island, Kyungsoo. You should too.”

Baekhyun gulps down a glass of water and wipes his mouth. “Do you want to go kayaking? I heard there are less people at this lagoon in the afternoon.”

He stands up and proceeds to leave. With a sigh, the words die down on Kyungsoo’s tongue, things that remain to left unsaid between him and Baekhyun.

 _I’m sorry_ is what he’s been meaning to say.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Sugba Lagoon is a two-hour drive away from the main island of Siargao on land and water.

Some choose to rent out a van or car to reach the port, some prefer to ride the _habal_ - _habal_ or the motorbikes that locals use to get around on the island.

In Baekhyun and Kyungsoo’s case, they settle on fighting over the latter.

“It’s not safe, Baekhyun. There are no helmets to use -”

“Then, what do you want me to do?” Baekhyun raises his voice. “Produce a helmet out of thin air? If you’re not comfortable with riding this, just take the van.”

“I’m just worried for your safety,” Kyungsoo all but grits out, trying his best to control his temper. “What if you fall?”

“I’m _not_ gonna fall,” Baekhyun emphasizes. “I know what I’m doing, Kyungsoo.”

Baekhyun pays his fees to the local man renting out the motorbikes, takes the key, and starts the engine.

Kyungsoo can do nothing but watch Baekhyun in dismay as the other man grips the handlebars, the engine of the bike roaring.

He sighs. He turns to rent out a motorbike for himself but discovers the last one on the batch has already been taken by another foreigner.

Kyungsoo then hurries to mount the back of Baekhyun’s motorbike. He clutches the hem of the other man's shirt.

“What are you doing?” Baekhyun asks.

“I’m going with you.”

“Why can’t you get a motorbike of your own?”

“The last one has already been taken,” He responds and points to the foreigner who has already took off ahead of them, “I have no choice."

Baekhyun clicks his tongue.  “Well then, I hope you’re prepared to see your life flash before your eyes.”

Nothing could have prepared Kyungsoo for what comes next.

Baekhyun rolls the throttle and goes off on a speed Kyungsoo hasn’t experienced before, making adrenaline and fear wash over him all at once. A fleet of curses leave his tongue and Baekhyun only laughs, unmindful of the way Kyungsoo presses closer as his grip on him tightens.

Baekhyun slows down a little after a while, but it still doesn’t help calm down the beating of Kyungsoo’s heart nor does it make him loosen his grip on Baekhyun a bit.

Kyungsoo looks around. The sight of an endless green greets him; palm trees decorate the sides of the small road they’re treading. The wind that blows on his face feels fresh and clean, the pure scent of nature wafting in the air.

He and Baekhyun reach the port after roughly 45 minutes, thanks to Baekhyun’s speeding. Kyungsoo is a little wobbly on his feet when he gets off from the motorcycle, his knuckles white from gripping Baekhyun’s shirt too tight.

From there, they ride a pump boat. Baekhyun sits on the opposite side of the boat but Kyungsoo lets him be as he soon gets distracted by the lush mangrove forests they wade through when they reach Del Carmen. From a distance, he could also see small islands covered with rock formations.

The passage is serene, the silence of nature making Kyungsoo feel at ease. He glances around and discovers Baekhyun seems to be enjoying the quiet too, a tranquil look painting his handsome face.

Kyungsoo hums to himself. He recalls the rare quiet nights in his apartment when he and Baekhyun would just lie down on their bed, satisfied by their shared comfortable silence that was only punctuated by deep breaths and the rustling of covers every time Baekhyun shifted so he could hug Kyungsoo tighter. Everything used to be so simple back then.

They reach the lagoon after 30 minutes and Kyungsoo feels a sense of euphoria wash over him when their boat docks on the nearest patch of land. Sugba Lagoon evokes a serene beauty with its clear, turquoise water and abundant greenery. A big cottage holds a pier and near it stands a wooden diveboard that seems to be no more than ten feet tall.

There’s no other tourists aside from them.

He and Baekhyun share a look.

“I can beat you in diving,” Baekhyun declares, chest puffing out.

“I didn’t even say anything.”

“I’m saying it now,” Baekhyun holds his gaze and something about the other man’s eyes stirs adrenaline in him. “I’m a better diver than you, Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes darken. “I want to see you try.”

Baekhyun smirks. “Are you seriously challenging me?”

Kyungsoo lets out a smirk of his own. “Why not? We can make a bet. Whoever wins can make the other do whatever he wishes.”

“Call.”

They peel off their shirts and dashes towards the dive board, the loud thud of their footfalls the only sounds that could be heard in the lagoon.

Kyungsoo reaches the peak first and jumps, his body somersaulting in the air before he hits the water. A loud ripple breaks onto the calm water but Kyungsoo is quick to rise back to the surface, shaking the water out of his face to watch Baekhyun.

Baekhyun follows soon as he back flips into the lagoon.

He rises back to the surface a few seconds later, a smile on his face.

“I just realized, Kyungsoo..this game has a loophole. Who’s going to be our judge?”

Kyungsoo pretends to think about it for a moment. The boatman they hired earlier has already returned to the main island, meanwhile the locals who own the cottage seem to be busy and he doesn’t want to involve them in a stupid game between two grown men.

“We don’t need one,” He replies afterward, “Whoever gets tired first is the one who loses.”

Baekhyun scrunches his nose. “So this is a game of stamina, then?”

“Yeah.”

They swim back towards the ladder to the diveboard and spends the next hour taking turns in flip diving, competing on who can do the coolest flips mid-air before they land on the water. Baekhyun laughs at him the few times he lands on his belly, but he returns the gesture when shortly after, Baekhyun fares no better and lands on his face.

After getting tired of diving, Kyungsoo floats on his back, arms still on his sides. At this point, he accepts that Baekhyun is the winner of their game when he sees the other man’s feet protruding on the shallow parts of the lagoon. Baekhyun still likes doing acrobatic tricks in the water, it seems.

“You lost,” says Baekhyun as he swims up to him, a funny grin on his lips. “Just like how I predicted.”

“You won,” he replies back. “You’re still the best, Baekhyunee.”

Baekhyun sticks his tongue out and paddles away, his mop of blonde hair the only thing visible as he goes.

Kyungsoo closes his eyes and lets the still water soothe his nerves. He secretly wonders what it would take to pick up again where he left and win back what he lost.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Claiming his ‘prize’ apparently meant two things to Baekhyun.

One, he’s going to let Kyungsoo pay for his drinks.

Two, he’s going to let Kyungsoo take care of him in his less sober state.

The last one seems to be a pure coincidence and something Kyungsoo knows he could have prevented, had he had the foresight to see what a lightweight Baekhyun and a bucket of beer could entail.

They’re back to the main island and currently at a pub a few meters away from their hostel. Baekhyun dragged him to the place when he saw the ‘happy hour’ sign posted outside. The happy hour of the pub lasts from 8 pm until midnight, a deviation from the norm in the city, and Kyungsoo is all too grateful. He thinks he would have enjoyed it better, though, had he not let Baekhyun drink for as long as he liked.

Not that he minds taking care of a drunk Baekhyun; three years of dating the man gave him enough training for that. What he _does_ mind is how flirty Baekhyun could get when sobriety escapes his system, his existing lack of brain-to-mouth filter even becoming worse.

Baekhyun is chatting up a stranger, a fellow Korean blessed with broad shoulders and neat eyebrows. He seems to be incredibly tall too based from how his size difference with Baekhyun looks even when they’re sitting.

They’re two tables behind from the stool where Kyungsoo is seated. Amidst the vibrant bar chatter and the music playing, he can’t hear what they’re talking about, even if he strained his ears.

He steals a glance in their direction and Kyungsoo catches Baekhyun whispering something on the Tall Boy’s ears, before the two of them break out into laughter. Baekhyun even leans his head against the other man’s shoulders. They’re far too close.

Kyungsoo grips the beer bottle tightly and gulps the rest of the alcohol down. The beer tastes more bitter than usual.

He stares at the condensation the bottle has left on the the bar. He has no right to be jealous, he reminds himself. Who Baekhyun hangs out or flirts with nowadays is none of his business.

Still, he can’t help the way his heart sinks.

Kyungsoo purses his lips and motions for the bartender to give him another beer when someone pulls the stool beside his.

“Is this seat taken?”

Kyungsoo turns around to see a Korean woman about his age. Her black hair flows past her waist and her lips match the color of her red top, showcasing her perfect cleavage which catches Kyungsoo’s attention.

She’s beautiful, in a soft and sultry way that fascinates Kyungsoo.

“No, you may have it,” Kyungsoo responds with a smile.

The beautiful woman takes the stool and makes a show of crossing her legs, facing him. She tucks her chin on her palm and swirls her cocktail with her other hand.

“Are you alone, mister?”

Kyungsoo chances a look at Baekhyun again, sees the latter and Tall Boy are immersed in a deep conversation. They’re now sitting side by side.

“I’m with a friend, actually,” He admits, “But he’s busy talking to someone else.”

“What a pity,” The woman says and takes a sip of her drink. Kyungsoo doesn’t miss the way her eyes ran over his body. “I wouldn’t even spare others a glance if I had company as handsome as you.”

Kyungsoo laughs, feels his cheeks heat up. It seems like it’s been forever since anyone flirted with him this openly, let alone a beautiful woman.

“What’s your name?” He asks, returning the woman’s smoldering gaze.

“Sooyoung.” The woman, Sooyoung, smiles while showing a full row of teeth. She has a beautiful mouth.

“Kyungsoo,” He offers.

Sooyoung flips her long hair on one side, accentuating the length of her neck and her shoulders. “Don’t you think it’s getting too warm in here?”

Kyungsoo meets her eyes, sees a knowing glint in them. His eyes flicker towards Baekhyun again. The Tall Boy has an arm wrapped around Baekhyun’s shoulders now, while Baekhyun’s hand is squeezing the other man’s thigh.

A flash of anger stirs within Kyungsoo again, strong and familiar.

Kyungsoo plants a quick kiss on Sooyoung’s mouth.

Without taking his eyes off Baekhyun, he grabs Sooyoung’s hand.

“Let’s take this somewhere else.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

The next events happen in a blur.

Kyungsoo finds himself inside a hostel room that’s strikingly not his, lips attached to the beautiful mouth of a woman who moans into the kiss with the slightest drag of his fingers on her skin.

His lips travel to the curve of her neck and sucks on a spot there. Sooyoung lets out another loud moan, and Kyungsoo takes that moment to lift her to the table. He nudges a leg in between her thighs, pushing his hand to rub her panties. She’s already wet.

Sooyoung wraps her arms around his shoulders, pulling him close. Kyungsoo pulls down the straps of her top until they reveal her breasts. She’s not wearing a bra.

White heat stirs in his groin as he takes a nipple into his mouth while his fingers knead on her other breast. Her hands tug at the short strands of his hair, her moans now a loud chant on her tongue.

Sooyoung is soft and supple, her lithe body easily melting against his larger frame the more he leaves searing kisses on her skin. She’s all soft curves and edges, a stark contrast to Baekhyun’s rougher and harder one that’s more similar to his own.

Her grip on his hair tightens when he grinds his crotch against hers, but it’s not as tight nor as painful as Baekhyun’s hold whenever his thrusts became faster without warning. Her mouth is amazing, but it’s not as warm nor as playful as Baekhyun’s whenever they kissed. Her manicured hand is lovely as she tugs on the hemline of his shorts, but it still pales in comparison to Baekhyun’s slender fingers.

Kyungsoo abruptly pulls away, feeling like someone had just dumped a bucket of ice cold water over him.

Here he is, about to fuck a beautiful woman who presented herself to him, and all his mind could think about his Baekhyun, his ex.

His ex whom he has left pissed drunk at the company of a stranger.

Kyungsoo wants to punch himself.

“I’m sorry,” He says to Sooyoung, “An emergency came up.”

“What -”

Kyungsoo doesn’t hear the rest of her sentence because he storms off and runs back as fast as he can towards the pub where he left Baekhyun.

He gets there in a matter of minutes, sweat trickling down his temples and chest heaving. The pub is less populated now so it’s easier to wade through the crowd. No Baekhyun shows up, though, and when he gets to the table where the latter has just been, he only sees the Tall Boy, who looks like he’s also about to leave.

“Hey,” He greets, swallows his pride and tries not to think about this is the very man Baekhyun has just been flirting with earlier. “Have you seen this guy around my height? Blond hair, wearing a yellow shirt -”

Tall Boy gives him an amused look. “He already left. Said he's going to bed early.”

“Thanks.”

He dashes towards their hostel next, ignoring the disapproving look the receptionist gives him when he enters the establishment running. His mind is beginning to conjure up things that could have happened to a drunk Baekhyun while he was gone. He flashes his keycard, the door to their room couldn’t open any faster —

Baekhyun is already in the room, his back turned to Kyungsoo as he stares at the sky outside from their window.

Kyungsoo clutches the door. “Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun whirs around. His eyes are red rimmed.

“You left me!” Baekhyun strides towards him and pushes an accusing finger on his chest, “You left me to fuck that girl!”

“Baekhyun, what are you talking about —”

“I’m not blind, Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun says. He is _seething_. “You think I wasn’t watching, but I saw you leave with that girl. Do you really think I’m stupid?”

Kyungsoo’s eyes widen. Too many things are happening. He did leave with Sooyoung but Baekhyun is..mad? Baekhyun is jealous?

“You still haven’t changed, you asshole!” Baekhyun slurs. “You still don’t care about me!”

Baekhyun is punching him absently on the shoulders now. Kyungsoo grabs Baekhyun’s hands and holds him still.

“Baekhyun, you’re drunk.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Baekhyun responds, points a finger to his face. “You..you’re screwing other people when you think I’m not looking.”

Kyungsoo knows better than to take the bait, especially when Baekhyun is inebriated, but he doesn’t like how the statement sounds.

He caves in.

“And why does it matter if you think I’m screwing another person? You made it clear, didn’t you? You don’t want me anymore.”

Kyungsoo knows he should stop.

“Do you think I didn’t see you flirting with that tall guy? You acted like I wasn’t there.”

Baekhyun blinks at him a few times, then laughs.

“Were you jealous of Sehun?” Baekhyun asks, referring to his tall company earlier.

Kyungsoo doesn’t say anything.

Baekhyun giggles, then burps. “This is sooooo ridiculous. You get so jealous of every person I talk to without even knowing the context.

“I wasn’t flirting with Sehun,” Baekhyun says with a grin, “I was telling him about my stupid ex who’s gotten moreeeee handsome since the last time I saw him. How he paid for my drinks tonight and how I still hate him so, so much.”

Kyungsoo swallows, dumbstruck.

Baekhyun paces around. He’s unsteady on his feet and just when Kyungsoo thinks he’d fall, Baekhyun catches himself and plops back on Kyungsoo's hammock.

Baekhyun stares at the ceiling.

“C’mere.”

Kyungsoo steps closer, not knowing what else to do.

“You said the winner of our game could ask the the loser to do anything, right?”

Kyungsoo nods.

“Then,” Baekhyun’s lips tug into a lazy smile, “Kiss me.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes widen, his brain almost short-circuits.

Baekhyun, his ex, whom he had just been thinking about earlier at the most inappropriate time, is now asking him to kiss him.

Kyungsoo can’t even remember the last time they kissed.

He vividly remembers the first time it happened, though, like it was just yesterday even if it was already three years ago.

This is so similar to how they started. Baekhyun, drunk and flushed from his face all the way down to his neck, still dwelling on that stupid game they played out of sheer boredom. Baekhyun, whose mouth tasted of whiskey and beer back then.

It would be so easy to repeat history, to swoop down and press his lips against Baekhyun again but Kyungsoo thinks — if this is really a repeat of their past, if they were to start all over again — then he better do it properly when the both of them are no longer inebriated and capable of proper thinking, devoid of any ounce of influence under alcohol.

Baekhyun is too beautiful and it would be a sin to _not_ indulge him but Kyungsoo makes a decision. He sticks to what’s left of his resolve and turns back.

“You’re drunk, Baek.”

Baekhyun doesn’t reply. When Kyungsoo turns to look at him again, he discovers the latter is already fast asleep.

He heaves a long-suffering sigh and plants a quick kiss on the crown of Baekhyun’s head before he strides to the opposite hammock in the room.

“You’re too good to be kissed drunk,” He says even though Baekhyun can’t hear him.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning, Kyungsoo wakes up to a loud thud.

When he cracks an eye open, the sight of Baekhyun on all fours greets him, writhing on the floor.

He immediately sits up and rubs his eyes. “What are you doing?”

Baekhyun sits on his knees. “What are you doing on my hammock?”

“You fell asleep on mine.”

“Ah.” Baekhyun gets up, stumbles a little, then falls back on Kyungsoo’s hammock. He covers his eyes with his arm.

“Are you okay?” asks Kyungsoo.

“The room is spinning.”

Kyungsoo sighs. “Wait for me here.”

He goes to the open kitchen and comes back to their room with a glass of water and Advil, which he hands to Baekhyun.

Baekhyun takes the pill. “Thanks.”

Kyungsoo sits on the hammock again and sighs. “You should drink a lot of water after drinking alcohol to prevent a hangover, you know.”

Baekhyun scratches his head. “I always forget.”

Something flashes in Kyungsoo’s mind. “Hey, do you remember what you said to me last night?”

Baekhyun knits his eyebrows. “I..don’t?”

“Are you kidding me?”

A frown blooms on Baekyun’s face. “Why would I lie to you? Why, was there anything stupid that I said?”

Kyungsoo sighs. He knows it’s futile.

“Kyungsoo.”

He dismisses him with a wave. “Never mind. Forget I even said anything.”

Baekhyun sighs. “Whatever it was, forget it.” He rubs his temples. “And I’m sorry. You know how I get when I get drunk. I probably didn’t mean it.”

Right. It’s stupid of him to hope for anything else at this point.

A few birds perch on their window sill. Outside, a rooster crows.

They’re stuck in one room together, in an island far away from home, and Baekhyun is sitting just a few feet away from him but somehow he feels so distant, like a star he couldn’t reach.

It feels terrible, to have someone so close yet so far out of your grasp.

Baekhyun clears his throat. “Why don’t we practice surfing again this morning?”

 

 

The clouds are overcast when they left their hostel but by the time they reach the beach, thunder is rumbling on the skies.

The local manning the surfboards rental offers them an apologetic smile and points to the cardboard standing outside the cottage, adjacent to the entrance to the beach. Written on it are the English words ‘NO SURFING. BAD WEATHER’ painted in red, capital letters.

Baekhyun’s shoulders sags as they turn around. “I should have checked the weather forecast.”

Kyungsoo pats him on the back. “Not your fault.”

Baekhyun scratches the back of his head, obviously in distress. “What are we supposed to do now?”

As they turn the curb to the main road, they see a small group of men — surfers, judging from their built and color — skateboarding in the streets.

“Hello!” A local greets them in Korean. Then, he switches to English. “We skateboard when the waves are too strong to ride. It gives off the same feeling. Wanna try?”

He and Baekhyun share a look.

Within minutes, they find themselves riding a skateboard side by side, the wind blowing past their face as they zigzag on the empty road. Locals join them with loud hoots and cheers.

The man was right, Kyungsoo discovers, as skateboarding gives him almost the same kind of exhilaration surfing does. The basics are similar with how he balances himself on the board and it’s just like riding the swell of a wave, except he’s cruising on the asphalt and a wipeout would throw him on hard land.

He maneuvers, attempts a kickflip that sends him landing on his butt on the grass. Baekhyun stops in front of him and laughs, but he also thrusts a hand out for him to take.

Kyungsoo stares at it for a moment before he takes it and lets Baekhyun pull him to his feet.

“You should be careful,” Baekhyun scolds, “This is not the sea.”

Kyungsoo rubs his nape. “I know.”

They watch the other surfers cruising down the road, some of them doing tricks with their board. Most lose balance and fall down on the ground but even so, they’re laughing, not a single hint of pain can be seen on their face.

Kyungsoo wishes it’s that easy to recover with some things in life.

To get back to your feet and dust dirt off your clothes, pick up right where you started with a smile.

But some dirts are harder to remove, some stains more persistent and permanent.

Baekhyun stretches, then shakes his fringe. “This makes me feel like a child again.”

Kyungsoo quirks an eyebrow. “Skateboarding?”

“Mhmm,” He stretches his arms, “Just being like this, playing. I used to play around in the streets when I was a child, y’know?” He smirks. “Used to get a lot of wounds too.”

Kyungsoo chuckles. “Me too. This scar on my arm,” He shows his elbow, “I got it from falling off my bike.”

Baekhyun laughs. “Yeah, I remember. You showed me before.”

The smile fades from Kyungsoo’s face. His mind flashes back to the memory of him and Baekhyun lying on his bed, the day when the two of them decided to sleep in at Kyungsoo’s dorm instead of attending classes because it was pouring outside.

 

_As the rain pelted against his window, Baekhyun traced each mole and scar he found on Kyungsoo’s skin with his finger tips, asking for the story behind them._

_“This one was from a brawl with a bully who called me short,” Kyungsoo told him back then when Baekhyun asked about the tiny scars on his knuckles._

_“And this one was when I fell off a bike,” He explained when Baekhyun’s fingers moved on to the scar on his arm._

_“What about your moles?” Baekhyun asked as his finger connected the moles that ran from his nape all the way to his back, like a constellation on a night sky._

_Kyungsoo giggles, the drag of Baekhyun’s finger tips leaving light tickles on his skin._

_“They’re for you to kiss.”_

 

It might have meant nothing to them at the time but now that they’re here, Kyungsoo realizes how many pieces and bits of his life he has shared to Baekhyun, and how Baekhyun has done the same thing too.

Baekhyun coughs awkwardly. “I’ll go again.”

Kyungsoo nods and watches Baekhyun step back on the skateboard, pushing one foot behind as he cruises away.

He pivots and maneuvers with ease, bending and shifting his weight as he turns around. When he comes back towards Kyungsoo’s direction, he’s laughing — eyes crinkled, blonde hair getting tousled by the wind.

He looks so beautiful and bright. Kyungsoo realizes it’s still the same carefree Baekhyun whom he knows. The same Baekhyun he fell in love with.

Baekhyun is laughing as he stops, yelling when he almost falls. Kyungsoo prepares to catch him but Baekhyun balances himself on the last minute, pushing his foot down on the ground to halt.

“Hyung!”

Kyungsoo turns around to see Tall Boy jogging towards them, his eyes set on Baekhyun.

“Sehun!”

The two grips each other’s hand when they close their distance, smiles on their face. Kyungsoo steps back.

“I’ve been looking for you, hyung,” Sehun says, “You told me you’d accompany me to Shaka.”

Sehun pouts. Kyungsoo maintains his neutral expression, but he feels his fingers clench and unclench.

“Sorry, almost forgot!” Baekhyun smiles apologetically. Then, he turns to Kyungsoo. “I’ll just go with him for lunch, is that okay?”

There is a knowing glint in Baekhyun’s eyes. Kyungsoo tries not to think too much about it and only shrugs.

“Go ahead,” He replies. There’s really no reason for Baekhyun to ask permission from him. It’s not like..it’s not like they’re still together. He appreciates the gesture, though.

Sehun smiles. He throws him an amused look, similar to the one he gave last night when Kyungsoo asked him where Baekhyun was.

“I’ll borrow him for a while, hyung.  I’ll take care of him. And I have a hot boyfriend already, so you don’t have to worry.”

Kyungsoo gapes. He watches Sehun sling an arm around Baekhyun’s shoulders as they begin to walk away. Baekhyun returns the gesture and wraps an arm around the former’s waist.

Kyungsoo picks at the skin on his fingers.

Sehun turns his head around and throws him a wink.

Kyungsoo drags a palm down his face. He stomps back to his hostel and wills away the ugly emotion threatening to take over him again.

 

* * *

 

Kyungsoo spends the rest of his afternoon lying down on the hammock, a book on one hand, a lit cigarette on the other.

Two cigarettes later and he still hasn’t moved on from the paragraph he’s been reading from the past hour or so. There’s nothing wrong with the statement nor the sentence structure, his comprehension just seems to be malfunctioning right now. Or maybe he’s just distracted.

Kyungsoo sits up and puts down his book, giving up on reading at the moment. He takes a drag and frowns. Sehun _did_ tell him he’s got a boyfriend already and he and Baekhyun will only have lunch but it’s past 3 pm now, and Baekhyun still hasn’t come back.

Baekhyun can choose how he should spend his time on this island and if that meant roaming around _without_ Kyungsoo, then that’s fine. He’s not obliged to tell nor take Kyungsoo wherever he goes. Their reunion was a mere happenstance in the first place.

But that’s the problem — Kyungsoo still cares. No matter how many times he denies it, his mind gets still filled with thoughts of Baekhyun.

He grabs an ashtray — a wooden phallic one that the receptionist gave him when he arrived in the hostel — and paces around the room, flicking off the ashes of his cigarette as he goes.

“You’re just an ex,” Kyungsoo says aloud, reminding himself.

He's in this predicament when Baekhyun returns to their room. Baekhyun pauses at the doorway as he stares at Kyungsoo: first, at the cigarette tucked between his lips, then at the ashtray he’s holding.

A wide grin blooms on Baekhyun’s face. “Why are you holding a dick?”

Kyungsoo furrows his eyebrows, then remembers the ashtray. “Oh. I, uh, got from the reception. The last one left.”

Baekhyun mouths a silent _ohhh_ in understanding but the amused glint doesn’t leave his eyes. “Almost thought you were holding a dildo. Scared me there.”

It’s Kyungsoo’s turn to grin. “You know I wouldn’t do that here.”

Baekhyun sits on the hammock and swings his feet. “I walked in on you masturbating several times when we were living together.”

Kyungsoo coughs.

“It was funny on all accounts,” Baekhyun adds.

Kyungsoo crushes the cigarette and places the ashtray down on the floor, facing away from his direction.

He pinches the bridge of his nose. “How could you just bring that up so casually…”

“Because I _can_ ,” Baekhyun answers with a cheeky grin, as if that explains everything. “Anyway, you should have come with us. This café we went to has these really delicious and healthy fruit bowls I think you would have liked.”

“Next time, then.” He debates on asking the thing that has been bugging him for the past hour, but it’s out of his mouth before he could even stop. “Did you have fun with Sehun?”

The grin on Baekhyun’s mouth immediately disappears. “There you go again.”

“I was just asking.”

Baekhyun gives him a look. “I was giving the kid an advice.”

Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow. “About what?”

Baekhyun tucks his legs under him, the signal that he’s about to tell a story he thinks is interesting. “Sehun asked me for tips in bed.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes comically widen. “What?”

“Sshh, it wasn’t like that, mind you. Remember how he said he has this hot boyfriend? So apparently, this hot boyfriend of his is..no longer warm in bed.”

 Kyungsoo listens.

“His boyfriend - his name is Jongin - doesn’t sleep with him that often these days. His boyfriend is quite busy with work because he’s a dance instructor but Sehun is afraid Jongin is getting tired of him too.”

“What did you tell him?”

Baekhyun shrugs. “To stop being vanilla. Maybe experiment with a few things. Or just wait and give Jongin some space, because maybe the guy is just too busy to even touch his dick, lest another person’s.”

“And what did he say?”

“That he’d think about it and heed my advice. He’s actually anxious that if this keeps up, Jongin might completely get tired of him and start looking for someone else.”

Kyungsoo hums. He would be lying if he were to say Sehun’s worries aren’t familiar with him.

“I told him he should probably chill and trust Jongin a little. Just because your partner is not sleeping with you that much anymore, it doesn’t mean that they’re cheating or — I don’t know — losing interest.”

“Sehun has a point, though.”

Admittedly, Kyungsoo could relate to the feeling too well.

He recalls a month before their abrupt break-up when, seemingly out of nowhere, Baekhyun stopped having sex with him.

While their relationship wasn’t purely hinged on sex at all, it still played an important part and their dynamics and the sudden decline in their intimacy started giving Kyungsoo negative ideas.

He started doubting himself - had he become ugly? Was Baekhyun not satisfied with him anymore? Did Baekhyun found someone else better than him?

Kyungsoo found himself spiraling into an endless pit of darkness and by the time he wanted to rise back to the surface, it was already too late.

“What do you mean?” asks Baekhyun.

Kyungsoo gulps. “When your partner suddenly withdraws from intimacy, won’t you suddenly start questioning things? I mean relationships shouldn’t depend on sex completely, but it’s not something you should ignore either. Waking up to the realization that your partner has become cold sucks.”

Baekhyun is staring at him differently now. “Are you talking about yourself?”

“I’m just telling you what I think.”

Baekhyun scoffs. “Telling me what you think? It sounds like you’re hinting at me that I was the _one_ who became cold to you.”

Kyungsoo frowns. “Stop putting words in my mouth, Baek.”

“You know it’s true. But I tell you what - you were the one who did it first.”

“What?”

Baekhyun sneers. “On the last month of our relationship, you became so aloof. You didn’t hug me anymore, you didn’t even kiss me goodbye whenever I left for work, you didn’t even ask me if I’ve already eaten dinner or if I was still okay. You wouldn’t even talk to at that time. And I’m still the one who was at fault?”

Kyungsoo feels heat flare up in his cheeks. “I never said you were the one at fault!” He hates how his voice rises. “And me not talking to you? When you kept hanging out with that Minseok-hyung of yours instead?”

Baekhyun rises to his feet, shoulders squared. “I never dated Minseok-hyung,” His voice recedes into a whisper. “There was only you the whole time.”

Baekhyun sounds so lonely that it makes Kyungsoo’s heart clench.

Baekhyun smiles but it’s empty and doesn’t reach his eyes. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter,” He gestures to the space between them, “It’s not like you still want me. Nor do I, uhm, want you back.”

He scratches his head vigorously, messing up his hair.

“Ugh, never mind. I’m going to sleep.” He lies down on his hammock, turns his back on Kyungsoo, and covers his head with a pillow.

Kyungsoo sighs, pinches the bridge of his nose to prevent an oncoming headache. Out of habit, he reaches for his lighters and cigs and lights a stick.

Thunder rambles on the skies outside and the sky shortly opens up to a downpour.

Kyungsoo goes over to the window and watches the sea from afar. The waves look deathly.

“Stop smoking!” Baekhyun suddenly screams.

Kyungsoo turns around, discovers Baekhyun hasn’t even moved an inch to face him.

Begrudgingly, he crushes his cigarette and proceeds to return his borrowed ashtray to the reception outside.

 

* * *

 

Kyungsoo stalks off to the streets, attempts to light a cigarette one more time, but eventually gives up when he realizes the stick has been soaked by the rain. Great.

The rain has receded to a drizzle now but it still soaks his shirt.  He knows it’s probably not a good idea to walk in the rain, but his feet move to their own accord anyway. He just wants to get away for the meantime.

It was so foolish of him to think, to even have the slightest inkling that he and Baekhyun might still have a chance when the latter had clearly showed him otherwise. Just when he thought they were starting to get along again, a normal conversation turns into a fight and Kyungsoo realizes why they separated in the first place.

Baekhyun is his _ex-boyfriend._ He managed one year of living a life without the other man. Why do things need to be any different now?

It was a year spent on moping around, on holding on to memories they had left, of trying to look for Baekhyun and coming back empty-handed. It was a year spent on trying to forget and failing in the end.

The frown deepens on Kyungsoo’s face. He doesn’t know with whom he should be angry at. At Baekhyun, for moving on from him so easily? Or should it be at himself, for still being hopelessly in love with the other man after all this time?

Kyungsoo kicks at the sand. It’s only then that he realizes he has already reached the beach. The rain has grown stronger once more and he’s now drenched from head to toe.

He purses his lips, removes his shirt, and runs into the sea. He’s never felt this frustrated with the universe.

 

* * *

 

 

Baekhyun is already gone when Kyungsoo comes back to their room.

He pretends to ignore the questions lingering at the back of his mind and proceeds to the bathroom to take a shower.

With a frown, he throws away his now soaked and useless cigarette pack and lighter to the trash bin, puts on fresh clothes, and takes a nap.

A few hours later, he wakes up to a hand tapping him vigorously on the shoulder. A persistent shiver runs through his entire body. It’s so cold.

“Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun nudges him, “Aren’t you going to have dinner? It’s already ten pm.”

Kyungsoo opens bleary eyes and sees Baekhyun’s face. Their room looks unusually dim even if from what he could see, the lights are all turned on.

“Why is it so dark?”

Baekhyun frowns, then glances at the ceiling. “It’s dark? It’s close to midnight but the lights are on.”

Kyungsoo hums, tries to hug his limbs as another shiver courses through him. He’s so cold.

He feels Baekhyun step closer, hover over him. A palm touches his forehead, then his neck.

Baekhyun leans down so he’s talking to him face-to-face. “Jesus, you’re running a fever.”

He hears Baekhyun pace around the room before he approaches him again.

“What happened to you, Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun blurts out, his voice panic-stricken. “Do you want me to bring you to the hospital? Shit, I don’t even know where the nearest one is.”

His hammock dips down as Baekhyun sits, joining him.

“He needs to drink meds,” Baekhyun mutters, “Then, he needs to rest. But first, he needs to eat in order to drink meds.” He sighs. “Kyungsoo, just stay here, okay? I’ll get you something to eat. I’ll kill you if you die on me.”

Kyungsoo chuckles, but it comes out as a strained cough. “I won’t die.”

“Okay.” Baekhyun stands and walks to the door, then glances back at him. “Don’t die. I’ll be back, I swear.”

Baekhyun returns quickly like he promised. He comes back running into the room holding a bowl and a glass of water in each hand. He grabs a chair from the other end of the room and sits in front of Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo sits up and takes the glass from Baekhyun. Every limb of his feels heavy.

“I got you porridge. Finish this and then drink your meds.”

Kyungsoo does as instructed, taking the warm bowl from Baekhyun’s hands. He can barely taste anything because of his fever but Baekhyun won’t let him live it down if he leaves leftovers so he finishes the meal, albeit slowly.

Baekhyun watches him the whole time, never tearing off his gaze until he’s sure that Kyungsoo has taken his meds. Kyungsoo lies back down, only wanting to sleep.

Baekhyun sets away the bowl and glass.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go to the hospital?”

Kyungsoo shakes his head, eyes already shut tight. “Am okay. It’s just a fever.”

Baekhyun clicks his tongue. “I thought you already quit smoking.”

He _did_ quit the vice a month after he and Baekhyun started dating but he picked up the habit again after they broke up.

“Not everything is related to nicotine,” He tries to explain, “I swam in the sea while it was raining.”

Baekhyun gives him a disappointed look. “You’re so stupid.”

Kyungsoo smiles. “I know.”

“I don’t know why I put up with you.”

“You have no choice. It’s fate.”

Baekhyun gets up, the chair scraping against the floor. When he returns, a blanket drapes over Kyungsoo’s body, tucking him from his neck to his feet.

A palm touches Kyungsoo’s forehead again. It’s warm.

“I think I should really bring you to the doctor. I don’t feel at ease.”

Kyungsoo opens his eyes. Baekhyun is peering down at him with such a worried expression, his eyebrows knit together and his lips formed into a pout.

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry yourself too much,” He assures him. He reaches over for Baekhyun’s hand.

Baekhyun meets him halfway.

“Just stay here with me,” He pleads and closes his eyes again.

A heavy sigh escapes Baekhyun. “What am I, your personal nurse?”

“Mhmmm.”

“I’ll be collecting my fee once you’re better,” Baekhyun squeezes his hand, “For now, go back to sleep and rest.”

  

* * *

 

Kyungsoo dreams of the first time they flew to a tropical island.

The destination was Langkawi, a set of islets filled with sandy shores, golden beaches, and teal waters.

Their trip lasted for three days. Kyungsoo dreams of the moments he and Baekhyun swam on the beach until their skin turned brown, of the times they stuffed their bellies with curries and other Malay dishes until they were full, of the instances they indulged on cheap beer until the sundown.

He dreams of Baekhyun catching fish, flashing him an OK sign and a wide smile every time he got a big catch. He dreams of Baekhyun swimming ahead of him, somersaulting underwater as he showed him his many tricks.

He dreams of lying on the bean bags that sat on beachfront as they gazed at the stars on the sky, with Baekhyun humming softly on his side. Then, he dreams of kissing Baekhyun and worshipping his body, the moonlight falling on the other man's figure when his back arched off the bed as Kyungsoo marked his skin.

Kyungsoo jolts awake. He immediately sits up, takes in his surroundings, and realizes he’s still in the hostel in Siargao. It was just an unfortunate dream.

He stands up and remembers Baekhyun. He checks the latter's hammock; his stuff are still there, his backpack and rubber shoes on the exact, same spot where he left them. Kyungsoo sighs in relief.

He goes to the bathroom and splashes water on his face. He feels a lot better now, his fever finally gone. His stomach is grumbling and he would love to eat breakfast with someone but Baekhyun is nowhere to be found.

Kyungsoo changes into a new shirt and sighs into the cloth. A quiet, Baekhyun-less morning is something he should really start getting used to.

He drags himself to the kitchen, eats breakfast, and drinks meds again for good measure. Afterward, he walks to the beach.

A small crowd have already gathered in the beachfront, with surfers back on the game as the waves break left and right. Kyungsoo rents his own surfboard and joins them, eager to wash away his worries through surfing.

He takes off his shirt and prepares to paddle in the sea when he spots a familiar mop of blonde hair he could not mistake for anyone else. The man is currently submerged in the shallow waters while he stands beside his tall fried Sehun, who’s lying on his stomach on a longboard.

“Baekhyun!” Kyungsoo shouts.

Baekhyun looks around. He squints and scans the crowd before he finally spots Kyungsoo.

He says something to Sehun, to which the latter nods in understanding, then storms off to Kyungsoo’s direction.

“What are you doing here?” Baekhyun yells and wags a finger towards Kyungsoo’s face, his tone accusatory. “You should be resting.”

Kyungsoo offers a small smile. “I’m okay now. My fever is gone.”

Baekhyun doesn’t seem convinced. He places a palm on Kyungsoo’s forehead and touches his own neck, comparing their body temperature.

“Are you hurting anywhere?”

Kyungsoo shakes his head.

“Maybe we should head to a clinic somewhere —”

Kyungsoo chuckles. “Baekhyun, I’m _fine_.”

“If you say so…” He notices the surfboard beside Kyungsoo, then places a hand on his hip, looking incredulous again. “No surfing for you. What if your fever returns?”

Sehun jogs up to them, longboard in tow. Behind him is another handsome man with a similar build, his skin naturally sun-kissed.

Sehun gives him a once-over and giggles. Kyungsoo consciously touches his stomach.

“You’re like,” Sehun says, still openly ogling his body, “Really thick. And beautifully ripped.” He glances at Baekhyun. “I know now what Baekhyun-hyung meant.”

Baekhyun steps  _hard_ on Sehun’s foot, making the other yelp. The Other Tall Boy giggles behind his palm.

“I don’t think we’ve introduced you guys to each other already,” Baekhyun laughs, scratching his head. “This is Sehun, my new friend and the one I was telling you about. He’s a model back in Seoul.” He grabs The Other Tall Boy by the arm. “And this is Jongin, his boyfriend.”

Sehun quirks an eyebrow.

Baekhyun slings an arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulders but he looks nervous.

“This is Kyungsoo. He’s, uhm..he’s well, he’s my friend.”

Kyungsoo smiles at his new acquaintances. _Friends_. He and Baekhyun didn’t even get to be friends after the break-up.

This is progress, Kyungsoo muses.

“Jongin and I are going island-hopping today,” Sehun says, “If you guys are free, maybe you can join us.”

Baekhyun visibly lights up at this. “Sure! We’ll just go grab our things and then we’ll meet you back here.”

He and Baekhyun go back to their hostel in haste, grabbing their water pouches and a few essentials: a bath towel, underwater slippers, additional cash, phones, and a change of clothes. They also buy water bottles and some snacks to munch on for later along the way.

When they get back to the beach, Sehun and Jongin are waiting for them at the banca along with other tourists, life vests already in place. He and Baekhyun suit up with their own vests and find a comfortable seat.

The banca sets sail, cruising onto the turquoise waters. Their group yelps and laughs when the seawater sprinkles to them as their boat fights the waves, the mast flapping with the wind.

Baekhyun inches closer to him and holds onto his waist by reflex whenever their boat bumped against a wave. Kyungsoo laughs despite everything, the waters are clear and of a beautiful color, the sun is shining brightly in the sky. When he glances around, he discovers Sehun and Jongin are laughing too. He mouths “Are you guys okay?” and Jongin flashes him a thumbs-up.

Their first stop is at Naked Island, a small island-slash-sand bar. There’s no vegetation in sight except for a few small bushes, thus the name it bears. The entire island is just patches of powdery white sand surrounded by an endless bed of azure waters.

Sehun whips out his phone and snaps a few selcas, then takes another few with his boyfriend Jongin in the frame, peace signs thrown over their faces. Baekhyun, who’s busy testing the texture of the sand with his bare feet, notices them soon and joins them, smiling to the camera with his full row of teeth.

“Kyungsoo-hyung!” Jongin calls him. “Join us here!”

Kyungsoo smiles and shields his eyes from the harsh sunlight as he walks towards them. Sehun raises his phone higher to make sure everyone gets captured in the frame.

Kyungsoo tiptoes beside Baekhyun but his legs strain, so he tests out the waters and places a hand around Baekhyun’s shoulders to lean against him. Baekhyun doesn’t seem to mind and even returns the gesture by placing a hand of his own on Kyungsoo’s rib.

Sehun shows them the photos he took. The first batch are a couple of him and Jongin only, then a few including him and Baekhyun as well, the four of them smiling against the blinding sun.

Kyungsoo smiles. These are memories captured forever, moments where it seemed like there was nothing wrong between him and Baekhyun.

The last photo catches his attention, though, because while Sehun and Jongin are doing wacky faces and Kyungsoo is flashing his signature pose, there’s Baekhyun seemingly distracted, looking at him with a smile on his face.

Kyungsoo’s breath hitches. Before he could ponder on it any longer, Sehun stows his phone back into his pocket and the boatmen calls them, announcing it’s time for them to leave and sail to the next island.

They sit in comfortable silence as they set sail again, with Kyungsoo looking out to the horizon and the Baekhyun to the water. Sehun tinkers with his phone on the seats across from them while Jongin peers down to see what he’s doing.

He raises his phone, moves it around. A frown tugs at his lips.

“There’s no signal in here,” Sehun complains, “I can’t post on Instagram.”

Jongin chuckles and pats his shoulder. “We’re like in the middle of Pacific ocean. Of course, phone signal would be scarce.”

The frown on Sehun’s face deepens. Jongin chuckles louder and bumps his head gently against him.

“Disconnect to connect, children,” Baekhyun chides.

Their boat stops a few kilometers short off the coast of their next island destination. Unlike the previous one, this second island has greenery, its white sands dotted with palm trees and a forest that is visible even from afar.

The boatmen tells them they have an hour to dive and snorkel before their banca docks at the shore for lunch. Snorkeling gears get distributed to everyone in the group.

Baekhyun springs to his feet and hops on the deck of the boat. Kyungsoo forgoes his life vest and follows him. Sehun and Jongin soon join them on their side of the deck.

Kyungsoo peels off his shirt and flip dives. A collective _whoa_ sounds behind him.

Kyungsoo quickly rises back. The water is cooler and clearer in this part. He doesn’t even need to put on his goggles and submerge his head into the water to see outlines of the marine life under.

Baekhyun soon joins him and backflips into the water. He rises back into the surface just as fast, a wide smile on his lips.

They swim back and climb the ladder back to the banca. Kyungsoo sits on the edge of the deck while Baekhyun remains standing with hands on his hips.

“Kyungsoo-hyung swam in the deep waters without a life vest,” Jongin gapes, “How did you do that? How did you stay afloat?”

“You guys even flip-dived,” Sehun sniffs and clutches Jongin, “I feel betrayed.”

Baekhyun throws his head back with a laugh. “He’s a good swimmer. Me too actually.”

They don’t share the story of how the two of them became attuned to the sea.

He points to the water. “You guys should dive. Feels amazing, I swear.”

Sehun clutches Jongin tighter. Jongin holds his hand.

Kyungsoo stands up until his toes are on the edge of the deck. He raises his arms straight above his head and presses his palms flat together, upper arms adjacent to his ears.

“Watch me,” He says. He bends down a little and points his arms to the sea. “You should cut through with your fingertips and glide through the water.”

“Then, push off and dive.” To demonstrate, Kyungsoo pushes off his weight from the deck and dives headfirst back into the sea.

The water is a smooth glide as his body makes contact with it. When he swims back to the surface, Baekhyun smiles at him warmly and flashes him a thumbs up.

Kyungsoo smiles back, feeling warm, and he’s certain it’s not just because he’s under the sun.

“You should just follow Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun says to Jongin and Sehun, “It’s not scary. The water will welcome you.”

“But I’m still afraid,” Jongin says with a nervous smile. Sehun nods in agreement.

Baekhyun jumps back into the water and hands Kyungsoo his snorkeling mask. Kyungsoo wears it, adjusts the straps so it’s snug around the back of his head.

“Just get in here so we could start snorkeling!” Baekhyun shouts.

The couple continues to hold hands and walks closer to the edge.

“You jump, I jump!” Sehun exclaims.

Baekhyun laughs. “What is this, freaking Titanic?!”

The two men count one to three and _finally_ jumps into the water, their coupled weight causing a huge ripple.

They float back easily, both of them giggling. Kyungsoo flashes them an OK sign before he bites his snorkeling mask, takes a deep intake of breath, and dives underwater.

Amidst the crystal clear water lies a rich stretch of coral formations on the seafloor, with varied schools of fish swimming by just beneath their feet. He even spots a few of those rare stingless jellyfish.

Kyungsoo swims further, discovers Baekhyun is snorkeling under just like him too. They both wave to each other under the sea.

They’re both laughing and out of breath when they return to their banca. Kyungsoo sheds his snorkeling gear and almost jolts when Baekhyun places a hand over his thigh.

“Did you see the jellyfish?” Baekhyun asks. He can’t stop smiling. “That was so fun.”

He shakes the water from his hair. “Yeah.”

A thought lingers on his mind, something he’s afraid to say.

“This is just like the old times,” Baekhyun says, speaking out loud what exactly he’s been thinking. “Ah, I’m so happy.”

Kyungsoo pauses. Last night’s dream flashes back to him.

Baekhyun seems to realize what he just said because his demeanor changes, the wide grin on his face gets replaced by an awkward smile. He looks at everything but Kyungsoo then gives up, goes back to his seat inside the banca when he can’t stand the tension anymore.

Kyungsoo gulps. This morning’s events vividly remind them of what they had in the past but this is the _present_ and things are not the same anymore.

Their next stop is at an island named Daku, bigger and greener than the one they just left. It houses a small population of local fishermen and boatmen and upon closer inspection, the beachfront are lined up with several cottages and small nipa houses along with a couple of bancas docked at the shore.

There are no electricity posts in sight.

Their guide directs them to a small open cottage that stands under a palm tree. A few meters away, a small group of naked local children are bathing on an artesian well. Beside them, a middle-aged woman is doing her laundry, washing her clothes on a large basin by hand.

Kyungsoo smiles to himself. The sight of the bare island life is not new to him anymore, but it still never fails to amaze him in many ways.

He wishes life could always be this simple.

Kyungsoo’s mouth waters when he sees what they’re having for lunch.

On the table situated in the middle of the cottage is the _largest_ island boodle he has ever seen. The food are arranged in columns on spreads of banana leaves: rice, grilled seafood (ranging from shrimps, to crabs, to mussels, and fish), barbecue sticks, and vegetable salad sit side by side. The dips made of calamansi, red chilis, and soy sauce are poured in separate ramekins. On the middle of the table is a large fruit bowl containing slices of fresh watermelon and mangoes to name a few.

Kyungsoo belatedly realizes that there are no utensils available for them to use.

He looks around and sees Jongin staring at his hands. Sehun and Baekhyun are looking at each other. They seem to be just as confused as him.

One of the locals from their group, a woman in her 20s, must have caught their distress because they say to them in straight English, “You’re supposed to eat these with your bare hands.”

Kyungsoo blinks a few times.

“Like this,” The woman picks up a shrimp with her fingers, dips it in soy sauce, then scoops up the rice with her hand. She pushes the rest of the food into her mouth.

“Food taste better when you eat it with your hands,” She says after she finishes chewing, throwing them a smile. “Try it.”

Kyungsoo copies the woman, scooping up a mound of rice together with barbecue chunks before he pushes it to his mouth using his thumb. It’s messy, with the way the rice grains and the grease from the grilled meat stick to his palm, but it’s surprisingly fun and unique too as he feels the texture of the food.

He looks around; learns Baekhyun, Sehun and Jongin are doing the same. Baekhyun’s attempt comes out more messy than his with bits of food slipping out between his fingers. Kyungsoo can’t help but giggle. Baekhyun chuckles too, his mouth full. Sehun and Jongin follow until the four of them are breaking out into loud fits of laughter.

After lunch, they lounge around on the cabana chairs, their bellies and hearts full. The palm trees sway above them gently, the breeze from the waves of the sea soothing their heated skin.

Kyungsoo almost falls asleep until Baekhyun breaks the silence.

“Stop staring at me, Jongin.”

“You still haven’t told me how you and Kyungsoo-hyung became friends, hyung.”

Curiosity gets the better of him and he raises his head, only to see Jongin turned on his side, his hands tucked under his cheek as he stares at Baekhyun intently.

Kyungsoo lies back down and pretends to be asleep.

“It’s not fair, hyung,” Jongin tuts, “Sehun and I already told you everything. Your turn.”

Baekhyun turns his back on Jongin, facing Kyungsoo instead.

“We _were_ more than just friends,” Baekhyun whispers.

Kyungsoo swallows, thankful for the silence that permeates over them again.

He knows it’s futile but sometimes, he wonders if Baekhyun misses him too.

 

 

At the third and last stop of their tour, Kyungsoo feels his breath hitch at the sight of a natural paradise.

Mapupungko island is nothing like he’s ever seen before. Behind the white beach and a rocky path lies the magnificent tidal pools — natural, sea water pools made up of seashore cavities. Trapped in the cavities are clear, emerald waters teeming with marine life, separated from the strong waves of the ocean by a reef barrier. It gives the illusion of a natural infinity pool.

Sehun takes out his phone and snaps photos of the place again, pointing everywhere. Baekhyun runs ahead, testing the shin-deep waters on the smooth mudflats that recede into the pools.

“Look at how amazing this is, Kyungsoo!” Baekhyun shouts, grinning ear to ear.

Kyungsoo removes his slippers and follows him, watching the cold water swish against his calves in each steps he take.

Baekhyun dives into the water before Kyungsoo could even reach him. Kyungsoo sits on the edge of the mudflat and wiggles his feet underwater, watching Baekhyun paddle in the pool with glee.

“The water is cold!” Baekhyun yells, “You should jump in!”

He moves to push off his weight from the edge but slips. The pool is surprisingly deep despite how clear it looks; he estimates it'ss about seven feet deep. Underneath are a few elephant ear coral formations and schools of fish.

He paddles back to the surface. Jongin and Sehun are peering down at him over the edge, as if scrutinizing the mere existence of the pool.

“Can you reach the floor when you stand?” asks Jongin.

Kyungsoo shakes his head. “I’ll drown.”

Jongin frowns and steps back. Sehun points his camera phone towards him.

“I’ll just take a picture of you guys,” Sehun offers, “Baekhyun-hyung, come closer.”

Baekhyun swims closer and slings an arm around his shoulders, forming a peace sign as he smiles at the camera.

“Say cheese!”

Kyungsoo flashes a smile of his own and tries not to dwell on how Baekhyun’s palm feels on his bare shoulder, how there’s barely some distance between their bodies.

Back at his apartment, there’s still a photo of the two of them together taken when they went to Jeju for Christmas. It used to be hung on their bedroom wall but after Baekhyun left, he decided to stow it inside his drawer where he couldn’t look at it as often as he used to anymore.

And now they’re here on another beach holiday, taking photos as if nothing happened, as if they’re starting anew.

Baekhyun lets go of his shoulder after Sehun puts his phone back on his pocket. As the latter strolls further to examine the area more with Jongin, Baekhyun also swims away from him.

Kyungsoo paddles back to the mudflat and rests his arms on the rock. He focuses on his breathing and lets the mellow waters gently envelop the submerged parts of his body.

They spend the rest of the afternoon swimming and diving in the pools. Sehun and Jongin take a hundred pictures until they’re satisfied, even attempting to climb the rock boulders on the shore to get the perfect picturesque shot. In the end, they fail and settle down for a milder pose by lying down on the mudflats instead.

As Kyungsoo floats on the calm pool, Baekhyun spends his time playing with a local kid he randomly met. The kid can barely speak English nor Korean but the language barrier doesn’t hinder them from communicating using bright smiles and gestures, as the kid demonstrates how to make a necklace out of shells.

Kyungsoo simply watches. Somehow, it’s relieving to know that Baekhyun still carries the same warmth with him wherever he goes, easily drawing people in to his presence. He’s always been a people-person, managing to make strangers feel comfortable within seconds with his natural charm.

It’s a trait of his that Kyungsoo has always admired; perhaps, a major reason why they clicked right away in the first place.

Because while Baekhyun emanated a vibrant energy in every place he went, Kyungsoo carried a steady quietness in him. Baekhyun has always been the first one to excitedly smile and wave at kids he passes by on the streets, even talking to them and giving them candies when he had some to spare. Kyungsoo has always been the type to offer his seat to the elderly with a quiet smile.

The kid whispers something to Baekhyun, to which the latter nods with amazement. The kid gets up and runs back to the beach, with Baekhyun hot on his trail.

Kyungsoo watches them disappear.

He waits for them to come back, figuring the kid must have just asked Baekhyun to play. But as he waits, five minutes soon turn into thirty, and thirty eventually turns into an hour. When the sun begins to set in the horizon, Kyungsoo starts to worry.

He gets out of the water and looks around. Baekhyun is still nowhere to be seen. The boatmen announces it’s time for them to go back to the main island. The tourists from their group rush back to their banca.

Kyungsoo hears a voice from the boat faintly calling his name but prefers to ignore it and starts looking for Baekhyun.

He retraces their route and walks back to the rocky path until he reaches the white beach. Still no Baekhyun.

Darkness is about to cover the island soon so Kyungsoo hurries, running into the forest while shouting Baekhyun’s name.

He wades through bushes and palm trees. Squinting through his surroundings, he slows down when his foot catches over a stray twig and almost trips. He screams for Baekhyun’s name once again, but the sky only shouts it back to him.

Worry starts to fill his mind. Where could have Baekhyun ran off to?

He retraces his path, his pulse ramping up as he comes closer to the beach. A familiar figure comes into view.

“Baekhyun!”

Baekhyun turns around and runs towards him, the panic painting his face earlier transforming into a look of relief. Kyungsoo almost hugs him out of respite but remembers his place and settles on touching the other man’s arm.

“Where did you go?”

Baekhyun doesn’t answer his question. Instead, he looks back to the sea, looking more forlorn than when Kyungsoo found him.

“The boat already left.”

 

* * *

 

As night falls over the island completely, a fight breaks out between Kyungsoo and Baekhyun.

“If you didn’t look for me, you wouldn’t have been left!” Baekhyun screams into his face, his shoulders squared, his face rigid. “And now it’s my fault that we’re both stranded here!”

Kyungsoo runs a hand over his hair in frustration. “You think I’d just leave you here alone on this island? Do you even realize how dangerous that could be?”

“I could protect myself, fine,” Baekhyun grits out. “There’s no need for you to follow me around and go ‘Baekhyun do this, Baekhyun do that’. Why do you even care, Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun shoves him on the chest. “Tell me, why do you even care?!”

“I don’t know either!” Kyungsoo snaps, feeling the anger boiling in his body finally explode. “I wish I knew, but I don’t. I’ve been trying so hard to ignore you, to tell myself that we’re over, that nothing I do while we’re here will make you forgive me or make you love me again.” He pauses to catch his breath. “But I just can’t. I don’t know Baekhyun, so don’t ask me.”

Baekhyun steps back. “Why are you telling me this now? Why didn’t you tell me that you loved me that night when I left?”

“Do you know how painful it was for me to leave everything behind?

“That night, I-” Baekhyun sniffs, “I-I waited for you. I waited for you to stop me, for you to apologize, for you to tell me everything is going to be okay again. But you didn’t do any of those, Kyungsoo. Nothing.”

Kyungsoo feels his heart fall to his feet at the memory.

“You..” Baekhyun prods a finger to his chest, “You were my first love, you know? You were everything I wanted. And to feel like you didn’t love me anymore..it was too much. I couldn’t live with that.”

Regret washes over Kyungsoo in waves. If there was only a way for him to undo the hurt and grief he has caused Baekhyun, he would have done it a long time ago.

“And now you’re telling me you love me?” Baekhyun chokes out a sob. “After all this time?”

Kyungsoo steps closer and looks into Baekhyun’s eyes amidst the dim moonlight.

“You didn’t give me a chance to explain,” He holds Baekhyun’s gaze. “I tried to call you and email you. I looked for you in _everywhere_ I could. But you suddenly disappeared and I figured you wanted me out of your life.”

He touches Baekhyun’s arm.

“I was so stupid, Baekhyun. I hurt you and I’m sorry,” His voice quivers. “I-if you don’t want to forgive me, I understand. The selfish side of me wants you again for myself but I know you deserve better.”

He swallows the lump that got caught in his throat.

“But, Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo purses his lips and forces a smile, “I just want you to know I never regretted what we had. You were the best part of my life. You’re my first love too. Always will be.”

Baekhyun stares at him for a few moments, then breaks out into a cry.

“I never stopped loving you, you fool,” He says in between sobs.

As tears fall down from Baekhyun’s eyes, Kyungsoo leans closer and wipes them with his thumbs, a string of “I’m sorry” leaving his mouth like a mantra he has always wanted to pray.

Baekhyun leans in to his touch. He holds Baekhyun’s face with both hands and bumps their foreheads gently. He leans forward and Baekhyun meets him halfway.

The press of their lips against each other’s opens up another well of emotions in Kyungsoo: hurt, grief, excitement, and comfort. It’s almost hard to believe that he’s touching Baekhyun again — that Baekhyun is _kissing_ him again — but every move of Baekhyun’s mouth against his is a stark reminder that _this_ is happening, that they’re here, that this moment is real.

Baekhyun pulls away. Fear rises up in him, afraid that has Baekhyun realized he doesn’t want Kyungsoo after all.

He prepares to be shoved back but instead, Baekhyun says, “You’re crying.”

Palms caress his face. True to Baekhyun’s statement, his cheeks are damp.

Baekhyun bites down on his lip, as if to suppress a sob. “You’re really crying, oh my god.” Baekhyun throws his arms around him. “I’m sorry. You never cry.”

Kyungsoo tries to laugh but as soon as he does so, his chest tightens again, and a dam breaks out as sobs escape from his throat. He holds Baekhyun tighter in his arms, buries his face on the other man’s neck, not wanting to let go.

“I’m here,” Baekhyun assures him, “I’m not going away.”

Baekhyun leans back and kisses him again, cupping his jaw as he swipes a tongue on the seams of his lips. Kyungsoo opens up easily, letting Baekhyun lick the roof of his mouth, the back of his teeth. The familiarity is so overwhelming it makes him want to cry.

Kyungsoo kisses Baekhyun back with the same passion, hand placed firmly on the back of Baekhyun’s head as they slowly tumble down on the powdery sand. His eyes flicker over Baekhyun’s face before his lips meet the latter’s skin again.

The time he spent without Baekhyun on his side is forever lost and could never be recovered but Kyungsoo is willing to start all over again, to make up for everything he lacked before.

As he presses a soft kiss on Baekhyun’s forehead, he wishes for Baekhyun to never be hurt again. As he plants a kiss on each of Baekhyun’s eyelids, he wishes for Baekhyun to never cry out of misery. And as he kisses Baekhyun languidly on the mouth, he wishes for Baekhyun to never stop loving him.

Hands fly to his back the further his mouth travels down south, feeling Baekhyun visibly shudder in each kiss he leaves on his trail. He traces a line from the dip of the other man’s chest all the way to his torso with his tongue, only stopping to plant a wet kiss on the tiny mole Baekhyun has on his tummy, which he knows by memory.

Baekhyun’s body feels familiar and different all the same, having become leaner and more toned during the months they spent apart. To say Kyungsoo has missed it is an understatement. To say he has forgotten how it works, though, is another story entirely.

Kyungsoo has never forgotten Baekhyun including how he _feels_. By reflex, he sucks on a spot near Baekhyun’s hips, right where his pelvic bone is, recalling how sensitive he is there. He pulls down Baekhyun’s shorts and Baekhyun juts out his hips enough to help Kyungsoo remove the rest of his clothes altogether.

Baekhyun sits up to take off his shirt and tugs him to do the same. Kyungsoo complies, raising his hands above his head as Baekhyun peels off his shirt. Baekhyun’s gaze flicker towards his crotch. He gets the message and discards his shorts and briefs too.

Now that they’re both naked, they stumble back on the white sands, bodies pressed together as their combined heat wards off the cold breeze from the night sea. Baekhyun runs a hand on his chest and Kyungsoo slides downwards, facing Baekhyun’s crotch.

The way Baekhyun’s back arches when Kyungsoo wraps his lips around Baekhyun’s cock is nothing short of beautiful. With heavy eyes, he watches Baekhyun writhe in pleasure the more he takes him in his mouth, tongue swiping over the head while his hand strokes the length.

Kyungsoo leans on his elbows and presses closer, hollowing his cheeks until Baekhyun’s cock almost reaches the back of his throat. Baekhyun tastes like musk and sea salt combined and Kyungsoo relishes in the taste, bobbing his head on Baekhyun’s cock. He hums when Baekhyun moans, the vibration causing the latter to tug at his hair.

Baekhyun’s cock twitches in his mouth so Kyungsoo works faster, taking as much of Baekhyun as he could while he fondles his balls. Grabbing him by the shoulders, Baekhyun wriggles underneath him on the sand as the latter closes the distance between their lips once more, unmindful of how he tastes himself in Kyungsoo’s mouth.

Their erections rub together, causing a guttural moan to escape from Kyungsoo. Baekhyun pulls back momentarily to spit on his palm, then brings his hand on their cocks, his slender fingers wrapping about both of their length as he strokes them together. Kyungsoo shivers, feeling an inexplicable pleasure course through his body.

Kyungsoo places a hand over Baekhyun’s. They find a rhythm soon, with Kyungsoo bucking his hips forward and Baekhyun thrusting back into him just as much the more they pumped their cocks together.

Their loud moans ring off in the air and for once, Kyungsoo is glad to be left stranded at an unhibited island for the rest of the night because no one could hear nor see them here.

For once, it’s just him and Baekhyun, their naked bodies pressed close as they help each other reach his orgasm. Lewd sounds of skin slapping on skin are accompanied by the white noise of the strong waves hitting the shore before they recede back into the sea.

A white heat tightens in his groin and Kyungsoo feel himself get closer to the edge, eyebrows knitted together, mouth hanging open. Baekhyun tugs him by the neck and latches his lips on his skin, mapping the moles on his nape with his tongue before he sucks on the spot above his pulse point, teeth his skin.

Baekhyun runs his fingers through his hair, causing him to flit his eyes open. He drinks in the sight of Baekhyun.

Amidst the darkness, his skin is glistening with sweat, his blonde hair sticking to his forehead. His lips hang open, on his tongue a breathy chant of his name — a sound Kyungsoo hasn’t heard in a while.

Kyungsoo has been to a lot of beautiful places around the world, has seen the sheer magnificence of nature at its finest. But he thinks — he thinks as Baekhyun cries out his name while looking at him — nothing would ever come close in terms of being as beautiful like this.

Kyungsoo surges forward to kiss him.

Baekhyun kisses him back sloppily in haste. Their hips stutter. As a strong wave laps against the shore, the white heat in Kyungsoo’s groin clamps down and floods through his body. Baekhyun follows after with a loud cry he leaves on Kyungsoo’s lips

Kyungsoo’s limbs buckle and he sags down, slumping against Baekhyun’s frame. They’re messy and sticky from their come but Baekhyun wraps his arms around his back to tug him close and Kyungsoo leans in happily, resting his cheek against Baekhyun’s chest with a smile.

 

 

 

They remain naked for a while, backs pressed against the bed of powder, soft sand as they lie side by side, fingers intertwined while they gaze at the stars in the sky.

They twinkle brightly on a blanket of pitch black. He scans the stars. He thinks he sees Ursa Major and Gemini, but he’s not sure. But then again, the only constellation he has succeeded in memorizing without question are the moles on Baekhyun’s face.

“You know, this is the _wildest_ thing I’ve ever done in my life,” says Baekhyun.

Kyungsoo quirks an eyebrow. “Having sex on the beach?”

Baekhyun chuckles. “No. Dating you.”

“Do you think they’ll come back for us in the morning?” asks Baekhyun a moment later.

“I hope so,” Kyungsoo answers. “This is a common part of the island-hopping tours. And there’s Jongin and Sehun to notify the authorities that we got left here.”

“Can you contact them just to make sure?”

Kyungsoo sighs. “There’s no signal here. I already tried.”

“Shit,” Kyungsoo can hear the frown in Baekhyun’s tone. “And my phone is dead.”

The wind blows in their direction. Baekhyun inches to him closer until their shoulders are touching.

“Aren’t you scared?” Baekhyun says. “What if we think we’re alone in this island but plot twist — we’re actually not.”

Kyungsoo chuckles. “Are you referring to ghosts?”

Baekhyun hums. “Yes and no. Hear me out.” He shifts around, rests his head on his palm as he leans on his side. He traces a finger on Kyungsoo’s abdomen. “What if there’s a tribe hiding in the forests and once we fall asleep, they’ll kidnap us? Then, when we wake up, they’ll turn us into their sacrificial lambs to offer to their gods. What would you do?”

Kyungsoo huffs. “What are you even talking about?”

Baekhyun pinches his nipple. Kyungsoo swats his hand away. “It’s totally possible! They could be plotting our death at this very moment.”

He pretends to think about it. “If that’s the case then, I’ll die first.”

“Why do you say that?”

Kyungsoo smiles. “Because they’ll have to kill me first before they could get to you.”

Baekhyun stares at him. “You’ll die for me?”

“Yes,” He answers in a heartbeat.

Baekhyun swats his chest. “You care for me that much?”

Kyungsoo’s voice remains firm. “Of course, I do.”

Baekhyun sits up and stretches his arms. Kyungsoo follows, hugging his knees.

“Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun says and Kyungsoo immediately looks up, feeling Baekhyun’s stare. “Are you sure about this?”

Kyungsoo holds his gaze. “I am.”

Baekhyun reaches over, his eyes soft as he brushes Kyungsoo’s fringe from his forehead.

“Are you sure you’re in love with _me_ and not just the idea of me? That you’re doing this just because you really miss me and not just because you’re lonely?”

Kyungsoo sighs, places Baekhyun’s hand in between his palms.

“I want to have you back because _I love you_. I was lonely, yes, but only because I always felt like there was something missing.” He offers an apologetic smile. “I couldn’t forget you even when I tried.”

Baekhyun stares at him, so Kyungsoo goes on.

“I tried to forget because I thought there was no chance for us to get back together anymore. But everywhere I went, I always remembered you. There was so much that reminded me of you.”

Baekhyun smiles. “I could honestly say the same.”

“I’m asking because I want to make sure,” Baekhyun explains, “We’re not kids anymore. And I..I don’t think I could afford to waste my time if we were to go down the same path again.”

Kyungsoo nods.

“I was _your_ world for three years,” Baekhyun reminds him, “And while that felt good at first, it became suffocating in the long run. I don’t want that to happen again.”

“I’m sorry, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun chuckles. “It’s okay, you’re already forgiven. I’m sorry, I knew I wasn’t a good boyfriend either.”

“ _Baekhyun_.”

“I know what I’m saying. But what I mean is, let’s try to work harder this time, okay?” Baekhyun caresses his back. “Let’s learn to compromise.”

Kyungsoo nods in understanding. “I can’t promise I’ll be perfect, but I’ll do my best to be a better person so I won’t hurt you anymore,” He traces circles on the sand, then chances a look at Baekhyun. “I know loving me is difficult but if you..if you could give me another chance. I hope you won’t give up easily.”

“Loving you is hard,” Baekhyun says. Kyungsoo swallows, but Baekhyun grins. “Loving you makes me _hard_.”

Kyungsoo throws a pebble towards Baekhyun. Baekhyun just laughs and hugs him, making them fall back down on the sand.

 

* * *

 

Their rescuers arrives the morning after, in the form of a small banca containing two boat men.

Thankfully, he and Baekhyun had the mind to wear their clothes back before falling asleep, unable to withstand the cold breeze from the night sea anymore.

Baekhyun explains to the boat men what happened to them yesterday in a mixture of English and flailing gestures while Kyungsoo just tries to rub sleep off his eyes to try to look more awake. He’s never been a morning person.

The ride back to the main island seems faster than their journey going to, but maybe this is because Kyungsoo just wants to get home.

When they dock at the port, he discovers Sehun and Jongin waiting for them, worry painted over their faces. Jongin even seems to be crying, judging from his sniffles and his red rimmed eyes.

“Hyung!” Jongin exclaims the moment they step on land, throwing his arms over him and Baekhyun at the same time. “We were so worried!”

“We’re sorry we couldn’t get you sooner,” Sehun confesses, “We tried, but the locals told us it would be too dangerous to sail at night knowing how strong the waves could become.”

“Are you guys okay?” Jongin asks while examining their bodies, “Are you hurt anywhere?”

Sehun takes a look too, squinting. He stops after seeming to have caught onto something, the amused glint back in his eyes.

“Don’t worry, Jongin,” Sehun says as he points to a spot on Kyungsoo’s neck. “They’re fine.”

Kyungsoo consciously touches it and to his horror, he discovers the skin is tender and slightly painful to the touch, obviously bruised.

Baekhyun peers at Kyungsoo’s neck too, sees the hickey he left just above the spot where Kyungsoo’s collar ends, and laughs.

“Oops, _sorry_ ,” He says in English but he doesn’t sound the least bit apologetic.

Red colors the tips of Kyungsoo’s ears.

Jongin grimaces. “Did you guys intentionally stayed behind so you could have the island to yourselves and have beach sex all night?”

Sehun mouths a silent _ohhhh._

Kyungsoo facepalms. Baekhyun just laughs.

 

 

 

Sehun treats them to firewood pizza for lunch to celebrate their return.

Kyungsoo insists he should at least shoulder half of the tab but Sehun insists that it’s okay, citing their ‘honeymoon’ as another reason to celebrate with a wink and a knowing smile.

He gives up after that.

Their food is amazing. Kyungsoo drops all reservations he previously had and eats with abandon the moment he takes a first bite of the margherita pizza. It’s distinct from the usual grub he orders for takeout when he’s too tired or too lazy to cook dinner at home, with the rich flavors of basil, tomatoes, mozzarella and the smokey, crusty dough combining perfectly in his mouth.

He’s on what it seems like his fourth slice (he’s already lost count) when Baekhyun speaks up.

“You should cook this when we come back home.”

Kyungsoo blinks owlish eyes in question.

“The pizza,” Baekhyun explains and gestures to their remaining food on the table, “You should get the recipe.”

Kyungsoo drinks a glass of water. “But we don’t have a firewood oven.”

“Oh,” Baekhyun knits his brows in thought, “Maybe we can build one together. How does that sound?”

Kyungsoo hums.

He grabs another slice but stops when he sees Sehun and Jongin giving them weird looks.

“What?” They blurt out in unison.

“You guys talk like you’re married or something,” Jongin says excitedly, “It’s so cute.”

Sehun nudges him on the shoulder. “They’re just old men. Oldies in love.”

“Hey!” Baekhyun yells, “You’re only two years younger than me, who do you think you’re talking to?!”

Chaos ensues when Baekhyun flicks a basil leaf to Sehun’s direction and Sehun dodges by hiding behind Jongin’s chair, who almost tips over and falls. Baekhyun doesn’t stop and steals Sehun’s pizza slice from his plate while Sehun reaches over, trying to get it back from his hyung who’s now sticking his tongue out childishly.

Kyungsoo laughs and facepalms. They’re ‘old’ grown adults but at the end of the day, they will always be boys.

 

* * *

 

 

Kyungsoo thinks it’s amazing, how fate or luck or the universe at large suddenly makes him meet a cute stranger and his body’s initial reaction was ‘ _Oh, I want him_.’

How the cute stranger becomes his friend, then becomes his lover, then becomes his life partner, even without the ceremony and vows.

How the partner returns into being a stranger again and they go from being inseparable to being miles apart, not just in distance but also in their heart.

It feels like coming back full circle, when someone whom you have shared _everything_ with disappears from your life.

Everything is suddenly just a memory and it’s like living with the dregs of a dream, except the feelings are _real_ and he doesn’t forget it days, months, or a year after, with everyday a stark reminder of every single thing he gained and lost.

But by some lucky twist of fate, the stranger walks back into his life and comes back as his lover again, and it feels like starting all over again, falling in love just like they had on day one. Even though in actuality, the love has never really died down. It was always just lingering in his heart and waiting to come back in full bloom until it’s swelling and ready to burst.

Kyungsoo feels his chest swell with happiness as Baekhyun kisses him square on the lips for what feels like the hundredth or perhaps the thousandth time tonight.

Baekhyun is caging the side of his head with his arms while he leaves kisses all over his body, on every patch of flesh his mouth could find. Kyungsoo just laughs as Baekhyun’s lips leaves tickles on his skin. He tries his best not to shudder at the floor when Baekhyun mouths at the still tender spot on his neck.

A moan leaves his throat when Baekhyun suddenly wraps his fingers around his cock, stroking it from the base to the tip with a flick of his wrist. Baekhyun’s eyes widen and a palm covers his mouth.

“Sshh,” Baekhyun whispers while giggling, “Don't be loud. Someone might hear us.”

Kyungsoo giggles too. Of all people, Baekhyun should be the last one to tell him this.  

They’re in their hostel, lights switched off, with Kyungsoo lying naked on the floor and an equally naked Baekhyun sitting on his lap.

Kyungsoo nods and licks Baekhyun’s palm. Baekhyun swats him at the chest with a silent chuckle.

Kyungsoo continues giggling. Everything feels funny; he feels so silly to be hiding in the dark with Baekhyun like this, even though their doors are locked and there’s no one who can possibly walk in on them anytime.

The air shifts when Baekhyun coats his fingers with the lube they just opened and he reaches behind, inserting two fingers at once in himself while his other hand continues to stroke Kyungsoo’s cock.

Kyungsoo swallows and grips Baekhyun tightly by the hips, watching Baekhyun through heavy-lidded eyes.

Baekhyun’s eyes roll when he reaches the sensitive spot inside him with his fingers, the hand jerking Kyungsoo off stuttering. Kyungsoo hisses when their erections rubs together.

With a smirk, Baekhyun pulls out his fingers. He pours the rest of the lube on Kyungsoo’s cock and holds it, lifts his hips, and sheaths Kyungsoo, slamming down in one breath-stealing motion.

Baekhyun starts moving with reckless abandon, his hands pressed flat on Kyungsoo’s chest as he rides him. Kyungsoo throws his head back and fights back a moan, feeling Baekhyun’s tight walls clench around his cock.

He grabs Baekhyun’s hips bruisingly tight, bucking his own hips to meet the other man’s thrusts.

He sits up and kisses Baekhyun, circles his hand around Baekhyun’s cock and jerks him off. Baekhyun moans and Kyungsoo swallows it all with his mouth, their arms wrapped around each other’s shoulders as they desperately cling together to reach their orgasm.

Kyungsoo is suddenly aware that they’re touching  _again_ for the second time on this island. It feels surreal but every moan, every drag of Baekhyun’s skin against his where their bodies meet couldn’t be anymore tangible, the pleasure seeping into his flesh down to his nerves.

Baekhyun comes with a cry which he buries on the crook of Kyungsoo’s neck and the sound spirals Kyungsoo to reach his own climax as well, teeth clamping on Baekhyun’s shoulder when his orgasm hits him hard.

They flop down on the floor, skin still sticky with their spunk and chests heaving. The air feels hot.

“You know,” Baekhyun pants, “If we’re going to really do our,” He air quotes, “honeymoon, we should probably transfer to a five-star hotel. This floor is too hard.”

Kyungsoo chuckles. “You just want airconditioning, you mean.”

“That, too,” Baekhyun fans himself with his hand. “We need a nice, proper bed with soft sheets and plenty of pillows. To sleep in and to fuck in comfortably.”

Kyungsoo wipes the sweat off his face. The wind blowing from the ceiling fan does nothing to cool his skin. He needs another shower.

“Hey,” Baekhyun rolls on his stomach to look at him. “I missed you.”

Kyungsoo smiles, meeting Baekhyun’s eyes. He only sees tenderness in them now.

“I missed you too.”

Baekhyun giggles and presses a quick peck in his lips. It’s too warm to cuddle but he snakes an arm around Baekhyun’s waist and hugs him close, the tropical weather be damned.

 

* * *

 

He went to Siargao to forget.

He also went to this island to catch the waves, to immerse himself in nature once again, to find himself and pick up the scattered pieces he left so he could start anew.

Before riding the swells of the sea, there’s always the thrill of paddling towards the wave, the euphoria of catching and surfing on one as it curls above his head, its roar enough to send his spirit soaring.

After the euphoria comes the wipeout, the part where you let yourself fall over from your board and be carried by the current. It’s both scary and exciting but it’s the part of the ride, because right after the fall is another chance for you to get back up on your board and paddle towards the waves again.

Kyungsoo thinks he’ll never lose the lingering fear of the wipeout but it’s okay because he knows now how to pick himself up and ride better.

He’s paddling away from a five-foot wall of crystal blue water, crashing and churning around him as it threatens to swallow everything that comes in its way.

The wave is fast and catches up to him in no time. At that moment, Kyungsoo springs up on his board in one go, crouching down with his knees bent and feet set apart, his arms cutting across the water as he cruises to his right and races it to the shore.

A wide smile graces his face, feeling light and powerful all at once with the sea surrounding him so close. He feels like he’s floating.

As the wave crashes and envelops him, Kyungsoo jumps off his board, letting gravity do its trick. The sea welcomes him.

Moments later, he surfaces back up and paddles back to the shore. He can’t help the ear-splitting grin that blooms on his face when he sees who’s waiting for him on land.

Kyungsoo quickly lets go of his board when Baekhyun comes running towards him. Kyungsoo opens his arms to welcome him but to his surprise, Baekhyun envelops his mouth into a kiss instead.

The adrenaline is still running high in his nerves, perhaps why he forgets they’re out in public and in broad daylight as he kisses Baekhyun back deeply.

He only snaps out of his reverie when he hears loud screams and cheering, and someone who suspiciously sounds like Sehun shouts “Love wins!”

Kyungsoo pulls away, out of breath. Baekhyun licks his lips. He’s never felt this thrilled.

“You were so amazing,” Baekhyun exclaims before he plants another kiss on his cheek, “I love you.”

Kyungsoo laughs. He came to this tropical island to catch the waves but life really has a way of playing with sometimes, taking him by surprise.  

Because somewhere along his journey, he found himself getting flung to a different current and now he’s here, catching love all over again.

It might not have been a part of his itinerary at the beginning but he’s nothing short of grateful, because now it stands as the best part.

Kyungsoo watches the way the wind tousles Baekhyun’s hair, the sunlight catching the slopes of his beautiful face, his smile blinding and calming all at once.

From here onwards, there’s nothing left for them to do but to ride the wave. Together and closer, stronger with their love.

**Author's Note:**

> My biggest thanks goes out to Shie for the encouraging words and for accompanying me in the whole journey of writing this fic. I don't think anything I say would be sufficient to express my gratitude for the invaluable help you gave me while I was creating this work ;~;
> 
> Oh, and a few things for visual reference!
> 
> 1\. This is [Siargao](https://www.rappler.com/life-and-style/travel/ph-travel/131301-siargao-activities-beaches-surfing). [shameless plug] It has pristine beaches and crystal blue waters. It's a famous spot in Asia for its surfing scene.
> 
> 2\. [Mapupungko](http://www.itsmorefuninthephilippines.vn/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Magpupungko.jpg) is not an offshore island but for creative purposes, I decided to twist its depiction a little. The rest of the places mentioned though are described as close to the real thing as possible.
> 
> if you reached this part, thank you very much! feedback will be greatly appreciated :)
> 
> alternatively, you can come say hi on [twitter](http://twitter.com/ksoobot) or [curiouscat](http://curiouscat.me/ksoobot) anytime.


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